I bet you all are really surprised to see me posting today, right??? Me too. My surgery was originally scheduled for 9:30. I was so ready to just wake up, go get this over with, and be back in my bed by the afternoon. No such luck. The office called twice yesterday to push back my time. They finally settled on...ONE PM! This being said, I am lucky to still be having the surgery at all. Two of the five doc's in my office had to suddenly take personal leave and my doc is covering both of their patients. They said they knew it was VERY important to keep me on the schedule...kind of implying that if it wasn't, I would have been bumped in a heart beat. Now, let me remind you that I haven't eaten anything since one thirty this morning. I. AM. STARVING...and it is only 10:15. I wont get to eat until this evening. Just kill me now.
Anyway, instead of sitting around watching the seconds tick by until I get some food in my stomach (oh, and the thirst! What would I give for a sip of water...or coffee..or TEA!) I thought I could jump on here and post. I am so excited to tell everyone that there is a new blogger in my family! (yes, that makes five of us now). My sister Boo has decided to jump on the blogging ban waggon and you all should all take a look at her site over at Optimistically Waiting. She is a funny, funny girl. If you like me, you will like her!
On a totally random note, we had a work cookout yesterday. It was awesome. Okay, it was totally a normal cookout, but it was for work appreciation, so we just kind of hung out all day and ate a ton of food. Tarp pointed out that it was very similar to Field Day in school, which was so true. Not a real day of work...no, no. This is Field Day. Just do whatever you want! Oh course, there were no three legged races or anything. More just sitting around talking, and basically making ourselves sick on all the food....come to think of it, maybe my body doesn't really need any food today anyway....I am pretty sure I took in enough yesterday!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tomorrow
Well, believe it or not my surgery is tomorrow morning. I feel like the last two weeks have just flown by. Last night Nick looked over at me and said *in your very best horror movie voice*, "One more day before they are going to be Slicing and Dicing!" Then he proceeded to tickle me until I just nearly went mad and punched him in the face...awww.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about tomorrow. I am really excited at the prospect of feeling better. It is hard to imagine my life without my underlying pain, and especially without the feeling of the crash-and-burn at the time of my period. I am excited that this is honestly the first true step in Nick and I working on a family. It is something we are both so ready for, and this surgery might actually make it possible.
On the other hand...I am terrified. I HATE the idea of surgery. Just the thought of allowing someone to put me into such a deep sleep that I totally can't feel them plunging a sharp blade into my stomach is...you know...scary. I am afraid of losing the ovary...I am afraid of what the doctor could say when he comes out. I guess these are normal fear. I know they are. I guess you know it is time for a surgery when the good outweigh the bad. At this point, there is no question that I need it, or that it is time. So....I guess, here I go.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about tomorrow. I am really excited at the prospect of feeling better. It is hard to imagine my life without my underlying pain, and especially without the feeling of the crash-and-burn at the time of my period. I am excited that this is honestly the first true step in Nick and I working on a family. It is something we are both so ready for, and this surgery might actually make it possible.
On the other hand...I am terrified. I HATE the idea of surgery. Just the thought of allowing someone to put me into such a deep sleep that I totally can't feel them plunging a sharp blade into my stomach is...you know...scary. I am afraid of losing the ovary...I am afraid of what the doctor could say when he comes out. I guess these are normal fear. I know they are. I guess you know it is time for a surgery when the good outweigh the bad. At this point, there is no question that I need it, or that it is time. So....I guess, here I go.
Monday, May 28, 2007
A Run In with the Police
So Saturday night I come home from dinner out with the girls. It is around midnight, so I am thinking I am in for the night. I then realize that Nick has not had dinner yet. What is he thinking? I guess he had just decided to go without food. Amazing. Anyways, I realize the no dinner deal and say I will run up to Taco Bell and grab him something. No big deal. It is like, right down the street. I already have on my sleeping pants and what not, but it isn't like I am getting out of the car.
I make it to Taco Bell...no big problems. Then, I head for home. I am listening to the radio, trying to decided where we might want to do brunch on Sunday with Nick's family...you know how it is when it is really late and you are the only person on the road. The radio is talking about drunk driving and drunk boating...cracking down this holiday weekend. I am amused with the idea of drunk boating...then it happens. I notice that a stop sign seems to be flying right past me. Shit. I stop at that stupid sign everyday...how in the hell did I miss that?? Oh well....what are ya gonna do?
Then I see the lights. SHIT. My mind goes to my two drinks like four hours earlier. I know I am fine, but am I breathalyzer fine?? The officer comes up to the car. I am pretty sure he thought he had nailed a drunk for sure. I am also VERY sure he was a little taken aback by my sleeping pants and Taco Bell. I didn't have to find out if I would pass a breathalyzer because he must have quickly decided I was not drunk, just that I was an idiot.
He starts questioning me. Honestly being a real ass. I have no problems with cops. I usually think they get a raw deal. Not this guy. He was just hateful. He wrote me up for EVERYTHING he could think of. The Buick has a dealer tag on it, and he says (in a snotty, I am more powerful than you voice)"I am giving you a ticket for illegal use of a dealer tag. They are for business use only...and CLEARLY a Taco Bell run at 12:30 is personal." Screw you buddy. Of course I didn't have my registration...or my insurance card. Two more write ups. I am thinking I can get everything but the stop sign dropped.
I just don't get why they write you up for things they know you are going to get dropped? He told me he could tell on his computer that I had car insurance...then why the ticket, hua? I guess things could have been worse...could have spent the holiday weekend in jail...yep...that would be WAY worse.
I make it to Taco Bell...no big problems. Then, I head for home. I am listening to the radio, trying to decided where we might want to do brunch on Sunday with Nick's family...you know how it is when it is really late and you are the only person on the road. The radio is talking about drunk driving and drunk boating...cracking down this holiday weekend. I am amused with the idea of drunk boating...then it happens. I notice that a stop sign seems to be flying right past me. Shit. I stop at that stupid sign everyday...how in the hell did I miss that?? Oh well....what are ya gonna do?
Then I see the lights. SHIT. My mind goes to my two drinks like four hours earlier. I know I am fine, but am I breathalyzer fine?? The officer comes up to the car. I am pretty sure he thought he had nailed a drunk for sure. I am also VERY sure he was a little taken aback by my sleeping pants and Taco Bell. I didn't have to find out if I would pass a breathalyzer because he must have quickly decided I was not drunk, just that I was an idiot.
He starts questioning me. Honestly being a real ass. I have no problems with cops. I usually think they get a raw deal. Not this guy. He was just hateful. He wrote me up for EVERYTHING he could think of. The Buick has a dealer tag on it, and he says (in a snotty, I am more powerful than you voice)"I am giving you a ticket for illegal use of a dealer tag. They are for business use only...and CLEARLY a Taco Bell run at 12:30 is personal." Screw you buddy. Of course I didn't have my registration...or my insurance card. Two more write ups. I am thinking I can get everything but the stop sign dropped.
I just don't get why they write you up for things they know you are going to get dropped? He told me he could tell on his computer that I had car insurance...then why the ticket, hua? I guess things could have been worse...could have spent the holiday weekend in jail...yep...that would be WAY worse.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Official
It’s official. I am lazy. No, no…don’t try to disagree with me here (What?? You have always known I am lazy?? Shut up). I now have documentation of this laziness. My work is doing this lifestyle wellness program. Basically, everyone was able to take this pledge to commit to better wellness. We then filled out a questionnaire about our lifestyles and it told you ways to improve and…you know…how to be healthier. Eat more vegetables, stop drinking…that kind of thing. For doing this, we received a nice fifty-dollar bill. Awesome. The long term benefit is that our health insurance costs will go down….and I guess we will all be healthier and happier people.
Anyway, to the documentation of being lazy. The fifty dollars was for completing the first two steps of the program. We are now moving into steps three and four. Gotta make annual physical appointments…no problem. Then step four. We actually have to DO something…something that MAKES us healthier. No more sitting out the computer filling things out or making a phone call to the doc. So…we decided to take the 10,000-step challenge. Basically you have to attempt to take 10,000 steps every day. It’s five miles. Everyday. They gave everyone pedometers and what not and we are tracking our steps for twelve weeks.
Now, I figure I must walk around as much as anybody. I feel like I am constantly running and doing…so I feel confident this wont be a problem. We are all supposed to wear the pedometer for three days and act totally normal...getting our base line of steps. As soon as we put them on I am pumped. Totally thinking we should turn this into a competition. I mean, who SERIOUSLY thinks they can keep up with me?!?! I have a big plan to graph everyone’s progress (never have I denied being a HUGE nerd) kinda for motivation…kinda to show off how much I rock at walking around.
An hour into the competition I look down and I have taken like 12 steps…Tarp has taken like 500. Seriously. Fluke? Not really. Every time we look down he is CRUSHING me…at the end of the first day I have 6,500 steps and Tarp has 13,000! Double! As a matter of fact, everyone is crushing me! Then I take notice. Look at everyone up and moving…look at me sitting asking them to get me stuff. Someone walking by the break room, I yell, "will you grab me a pop?" Why don’t I walk my lazy ass in there and get it myself?!?! Hmmm. Then I find out that when everyone ELSE goes home they, you know...move around. They do NOT lie on the couch and watch hours of TV. Yep…there they all go, busy little bees. Here I sit, the lazy slug. Now that my three days of base-line are done, I am going to have to make some changes!
Anyway, to the documentation of being lazy. The fifty dollars was for completing the first two steps of the program. We are now moving into steps three and four. Gotta make annual physical appointments…no problem. Then step four. We actually have to DO something…something that MAKES us healthier. No more sitting out the computer filling things out or making a phone call to the doc. So…we decided to take the 10,000-step challenge. Basically you have to attempt to take 10,000 steps every day. It’s five miles. Everyday. They gave everyone pedometers and what not and we are tracking our steps for twelve weeks.
Now, I figure I must walk around as much as anybody. I feel like I am constantly running and doing…so I feel confident this wont be a problem. We are all supposed to wear the pedometer for three days and act totally normal...getting our base line of steps. As soon as we put them on I am pumped. Totally thinking we should turn this into a competition. I mean, who SERIOUSLY thinks they can keep up with me?!?! I have a big plan to graph everyone’s progress (never have I denied being a HUGE nerd) kinda for motivation…kinda to show off how much I rock at walking around.
An hour into the competition I look down and I have taken like 12 steps…Tarp has taken like 500. Seriously. Fluke? Not really. Every time we look down he is CRUSHING me…at the end of the first day I have 6,500 steps and Tarp has 13,000! Double! As a matter of fact, everyone is crushing me! Then I take notice. Look at everyone up and moving…look at me sitting asking them to get me stuff. Someone walking by the break room, I yell, "will you grab me a pop?" Why don’t I walk my lazy ass in there and get it myself?!?! Hmmm. Then I find out that when everyone ELSE goes home they, you know...move around. They do NOT lie on the couch and watch hours of TV. Yep…there they all go, busy little bees. Here I sit, the lazy slug. Now that my three days of base-line are done, I am going to have to make some changes!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Not Luck...Skill
Nick is so incredible lucky. Seriously. He says that he isn't, but I swear to God this kid wins everything...except the lottery...we haven't been able to pull that off yet. Anyway, yesterday was the yearly employee appreciation day at the University where he works. They had raffles and booths and what not set up all around the student center. One of the booths was to design a dorm building. You had a 28 million dollar (come on now) budget and you had to choose the dorms location, structure, amenities...all that jazz. The trick was all prices were blacked out. You just had to design what you wanted, then find out the price once you hit submit.
Now....this is a situation where my husband was born to shine. This is not as much his luck, but rather a very odd talent. He seriously can estimate and calculate in his head like nobody you have ever met. Ever. His friend had already went earlier in the day. He was four million off. Nick sits down and starts making his selections. Stone will look nicer...but then it will take away from having the media center...hmm...anyways, two minutes later he hits enter on his new dorm building and the computer spits out how far he was off budget....zero dollars! That's right folks. He spent EXACTLY $28,000,000.00. His name shoots up on a big projector screen on the wall. He just looks over at his four million dollar over friend and says..."and that's how it's done!". AMAZING.
Anyways, the exciting end to the story is that he won a free ipod! how cool is that? Okay, so we both already have ipods, but it is still a totally rockin' prize for an imaginary dorm building. Between his luck and his skill, I gotta say I married well!
Now....this is a situation where my husband was born to shine. This is not as much his luck, but rather a very odd talent. He seriously can estimate and calculate in his head like nobody you have ever met. Ever. His friend had already went earlier in the day. He was four million off. Nick sits down and starts making his selections. Stone will look nicer...but then it will take away from having the media center...hmm...anyways, two minutes later he hits enter on his new dorm building and the computer spits out how far he was off budget....zero dollars! That's right folks. He spent EXACTLY $28,000,000.00. His name shoots up on a big projector screen on the wall. He just looks over at his four million dollar over friend and says..."and that's how it's done!". AMAZING.
Anyways, the exciting end to the story is that he won a free ipod! how cool is that? Okay, so we both already have ipods, but it is still a totally rockin' prize for an imaginary dorm building. Between his luck and his skill, I gotta say I married well!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Nice
I have very thick hair. It would fall under the category of frizzy if I let it. I have that natural body that could never truly be defined as curly...rather just wavy. Honestly, it is good hair. It works with me, I work with it. I can usually find a way to make it look nice, work with it and it is curly, work with it and it is straight...you get the point. So where is the problem? That would be when some element gets in the way and totally screws up my entire system.
Rain can do this. I know it can destroy most peoples hair. For mine, humidity is also an arch nemesis. I begin to grow a large mushroom head in any type of humid weather. awesome. Now...the point of the post (here it is) is to tell you that I have come across a new arch nemesis. that's right. people! After 27 years I have found one lurking in the brush. wind. Not just any wind, mind you, but wind from an ordinary house fan. Sounds harmless, right? WRONG.
Yesterday I got up, took a shower and then carefully straightened my hair. I get to work and there seems to be this fan on the ground that is pointing straight at the back of my head. No problem, I move it away. Mysteriously it is moved back...pointing right at me. I move it away again. I fight the fan all day. It really is just annoying me because it is blowing all my hair into my face. I don't really think much of it's affect....that is until I mention this annoyance to Tarp at the end of the day. What does he say?? "I KNOW!! I was going to mention you hair earlier but decided not to(HORROR!)...you have TOTAL eighty's glam going on!!!"...What the hell! Seriously. Eighty's glam. EIGHTY'S GLAM!!! See as how the eighty's were twenty years ago, I am really thinking this is a problem. I will be moving the stupid fan tot the other side of the lab first thing this morning.
Rain can do this. I know it can destroy most peoples hair. For mine, humidity is also an arch nemesis. I begin to grow a large mushroom head in any type of humid weather. awesome. Now...the point of the post (here it is) is to tell you that I have come across a new arch nemesis. that's right. people! After 27 years I have found one lurking in the brush. wind. Not just any wind, mind you, but wind from an ordinary house fan. Sounds harmless, right? WRONG.
Yesterday I got up, took a shower and then carefully straightened my hair. I get to work and there seems to be this fan on the ground that is pointing straight at the back of my head. No problem, I move it away. Mysteriously it is moved back...pointing right at me. I move it away again. I fight the fan all day. It really is just annoying me because it is blowing all my hair into my face. I don't really think much of it's affect....that is until I mention this annoyance to Tarp at the end of the day. What does he say?? "I KNOW!! I was going to mention you hair earlier but decided not to(HORROR!)...you have TOTAL eighty's glam going on!!!"...What the hell! Seriously. Eighty's glam. EIGHTY'S GLAM!!! See as how the eighty's were twenty years ago, I am really thinking this is a problem. I will be moving the stupid fan tot the other side of the lab first thing this morning.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Finally!
Every time I thought about posting this weekend my mind then went straight to..."where in the hell is that camera cord?!?!" then the search would be on...after a whopping five minutes I would throw my hands into the air in disgust and walk away. Repeat about 15 times, and you about have it. BUT, I am so happy to report that today after work I FINALLY found it. For the record, it was in the bookshelf cabinet...not sure how I missed it the first fifteen looks but whatever.
Anyway....the point of getting the camera cord was to share my pictures from the wedding we went to back last weekend...and now that I have the cord and all the pic's I am starting to think they might be a bit of a disappointment...but I don't care. The search for the cord was too great...the pictures must now be posted (for the record there are WAY more than this...but I am thinking only really Tarp wants to see the rest, so they will be emailed). You will note that I have no actual pictures from the wedding...and basically none of the bride or groom...or really anyone of any importance to the special day. What can I say...I am just a little self centered...
Here's Nick outside the wedding...he is so proud of Old Blue!
then a cute picture of me and Nick!
Here is Tarp and I looking very respectable...this is before the mother of the bride stripped off his coat and vest and led him around the dance floor with his tie
And now we move into the pictures after I got a couple of glasses of wine in me...here is yours truly...looking just a touch foolish
then my very handsome husband...
Boo looking marvelous...who may have also had a couple of drinks in her by this point...
Tarp, who did an excellent job as groomsman ...and together we made the Bio department proud
My brother in law Chris...take note that clearly I am getting a little out of focus here...
And now I seem to be getting a bit worse...this is my attempt as a self portrait...
And now I just need to put the camera away...
I did get one picture of the bride and groom...I am not THAT self centered.... okay, you totally can't see the bride, but still it counts.
Anyway....the point of getting the camera cord was to share my pictures from the wedding we went to back last weekend...and now that I have the cord and all the pic's I am starting to think they might be a bit of a disappointment...but I don't care. The search for the cord was too great...the pictures must now be posted (for the record there are WAY more than this...but I am thinking only really Tarp wants to see the rest, so they will be emailed). You will note that I have no actual pictures from the wedding...and basically none of the bride or groom...or really anyone of any importance to the special day. What can I say...I am just a little self centered...
Here's Nick outside the wedding...he is so proud of Old Blue!
then a cute picture of me and Nick! Here is Tarp and I looking very respectable...this is before the mother of the bride stripped off his coat and vest and led him around the dance floor with his tieAnd now we move into the pictures after I got a couple of glasses of wine in me...here is yours truly...looking just a touch foolish then my very handsome husband...Boo looking marvelous...who may have also had a couple of drinks in her by this point...
Tarp, who did an excellent job as groomsman ...and together we made the Bio department proud
My brother in law Chris...take note that clearly I am getting a little out of focus here...
And now I seem to be getting a bit worse...this is my attempt as a self portrait...And now I just need to put the camera away...
I did get one picture of the bride and groom...I am not THAT self centered.... okay, you totally can't see the bride, but still it counts.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Just a Little Crazy
So, I was really wanting to post today about something that did not involve my endo or my mutating ovary or anything...basically because those topics are just a little depressing to me right now. I was really excited for you all to see my pictures from the wedding I went to this weekend. After several glasses of wine I thought it would be a really great idea to take pictures of everyone zoomed in to their face...they rock. Sadly, when I got home to get the pictures up on my lunch, I realized that the cord that runs to my camera is totally MIA. I need to wait for Nick to come home tonight to find out where he has hid it...maybe you all can see my awesome face pictures tomorrow!
Today I can tell you about how I went just a little crazy yesterday. I made a McDonald's run for breakfast. I was getting some food, plus some iced coffee's for people at work. have you all had the vanilla iced coffee???WONDERFUL. Anyways, I am on the phone with Charing, so I will say that I was not paying REALLY close attention to things. I did take a look at my order on the red screen...took note of my $12 total. Seemed about right. Pulled up to the first window, handed my card, pulled up to the second window and waited patiently for my food.
So, The girl reaches out to hand me a hot coffee. I pull my phone down and say, "No, I had two iced coffee's"...and then it happened. She ROLLED HER EYES AT ME! What the hell? What would make her think that was okay? It wasn't my fault she had the wrong thing. She walks away, then comes back with a HUGE attitude and says "You owe us eight dollars!!"
I lose it. I get off the phone with Charing and I start yelling. Now, let me say that this is really not like me, but I have had a really rough couple of days. I was on the verge of yelling at someone and the eye roll/attitude girl won the prize. I start telling her that she is crazy if she thinks I am giving her any more money, that I already gave her $12 and what kind of breakfast costs $20...plus why in the hell would I give her eight dollars for two cups of coffee that are only $2 each?!?! I am really rolling. Kind of causing a scene. I decide to put the final nail into the coffin of my argument when I say "And I HAVE my receipt right HERE!!" Freeze. Before I started yelling had I actually looked at my receipt? Nope. I just...you know...kind of assumed (yes dad, I know what happens when you assume) that they had actually charged me what was on the red board. wrong. Funny thing was...they had only charged me...four dollars. and four plus eight is...yep...twelve. damn.
So, of course, I immediately start saying how sorry I am and that I was just confused...had no idea they had originally charged me wrong, I just thought they were asking for MORE money...bla bla bla. Then the girl just says, "whatever". I am totally pissed again. HELLO. It was not all MY bad here. I mean, why did she screw up my ticket in the first place? and why did she not TELL me they charged me wrong instead of just asking for more money? And why, oh why did she roll her eyes at me? Anyways, no apology came out of her mouth. The way I see it, I was the bigger person here...except at that part where I went crazy...that was my bad...
Today I can tell you about how I went just a little crazy yesterday. I made a McDonald's run for breakfast. I was getting some food, plus some iced coffee's for people at work. have you all had the vanilla iced coffee???WONDERFUL. Anyways, I am on the phone with Charing, so I will say that I was not paying REALLY close attention to things. I did take a look at my order on the red screen...took note of my $12 total. Seemed about right. Pulled up to the first window, handed my card, pulled up to the second window and waited patiently for my food.
So, The girl reaches out to hand me a hot coffee. I pull my phone down and say, "No, I had two iced coffee's"...and then it happened. She ROLLED HER EYES AT ME! What the hell? What would make her think that was okay? It wasn't my fault she had the wrong thing. She walks away, then comes back with a HUGE attitude and says "You owe us eight dollars!!"
I lose it. I get off the phone with Charing and I start yelling. Now, let me say that this is really not like me, but I have had a really rough couple of days. I was on the verge of yelling at someone and the eye roll/attitude girl won the prize. I start telling her that she is crazy if she thinks I am giving her any more money, that I already gave her $12 and what kind of breakfast costs $20...plus why in the hell would I give her eight dollars for two cups of coffee that are only $2 each?!?! I am really rolling. Kind of causing a scene. I decide to put the final nail into the coffin of my argument when I say "And I HAVE my receipt right HERE!!" Freeze. Before I started yelling had I actually looked at my receipt? Nope. I just...you know...kind of assumed (yes dad, I know what happens when you assume) that they had actually charged me what was on the red board. wrong. Funny thing was...they had only charged me...four dollars. and four plus eight is...yep...twelve. damn.
So, of course, I immediately start saying how sorry I am and that I was just confused...had no idea they had originally charged me wrong, I just thought they were asking for MORE money...bla bla bla. Then the girl just says, "whatever". I am totally pissed again. HELLO. It was not all MY bad here. I mean, why did she screw up my ticket in the first place? and why did she not TELL me they charged me wrong instead of just asking for more money? And why, oh why did she roll her eyes at me? Anyways, no apology came out of her mouth. The way I see it, I was the bigger person here...except at that part where I went crazy...that was my bad...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Bad News
So I had a really bad day yesterday. My endo really got the best of me and I was not able to do anything to control the pain. I was taking my pain medication...times three...and it still was not enough to let me even fall asleep to get away from the pain. I called my doctor and after several very tear filled conversations (one with the full blown sob and then deep gasping breathing trying to get a hold of myself...just a touch embarrassing) with the nurse they got me an appointment for this morning.
I went in, talked to the nurse, talked to the doctor and basically found out exactly what I expected. Looks like I will be having another surgery. The doctor then decided to do an ultrasound to see how things looked. You usually can't see endometriosis on an ultrasound, but you can sometimes see it's aftermath. When the adhesion's pull things out of alignment, you can tell something is up. I was laying there, basically in misery, as the tech took a good look at all my goods. She freezes the screen and writes "right cyst". I say "oh, do I have a cyst...I just assumed the pain was all from the endo". She then says, "oh, yea....but this one is NOTHING compared to the one on your left side".
So, she scans over to my left ovary. I know a little about ultrasounds, and things look a little strange. There is a very large blob...it looks to big to be my ovary, but then where in the hell is my ovary. Should be right there...hmmm...so of course I ask. She then tells me that basically you can no longer see my ovary because it has been completely taken over my this HUGE cyst. The she goes on to tell me that it is very unusual because the cyst has an echo...excuse me?? Are you telling me my cyst is so large that it has a pulse?!?! Yep. That is what she was telling me.
The doctor then came in and told me that actually what is going on is that my left ovary was covered in endometrium, then the cyst covered over all of that. I know it is always a little funny that my body loves to grow new things...but now my new additions are growing their own additions. I'm sorry, but this is really fucked up. I am having surgery two weeks from Thursday to go in and clean out all the endo...plus take care of my mutating ovary/endo/cyst problem. At least they know I wasn't faking the pain... I really just want to cry. Instead I am going to bed.
I went in, talked to the nurse, talked to the doctor and basically found out exactly what I expected. Looks like I will be having another surgery. The doctor then decided to do an ultrasound to see how things looked. You usually can't see endometriosis on an ultrasound, but you can sometimes see it's aftermath. When the adhesion's pull things out of alignment, you can tell something is up. I was laying there, basically in misery, as the tech took a good look at all my goods. She freezes the screen and writes "right cyst". I say "oh, do I have a cyst...I just assumed the pain was all from the endo". She then says, "oh, yea....but this one is NOTHING compared to the one on your left side".
So, she scans over to my left ovary. I know a little about ultrasounds, and things look a little strange. There is a very large blob...it looks to big to be my ovary, but then where in the hell is my ovary. Should be right there...hmmm...so of course I ask. She then tells me that basically you can no longer see my ovary because it has been completely taken over my this HUGE cyst. The she goes on to tell me that it is very unusual because the cyst has an echo...excuse me?? Are you telling me my cyst is so large that it has a pulse?!?! Yep. That is what she was telling me.
The doctor then came in and told me that actually what is going on is that my left ovary was covered in endometrium, then the cyst covered over all of that. I know it is always a little funny that my body loves to grow new things...but now my new additions are growing their own additions. I'm sorry, but this is really fucked up. I am having surgery two weeks from Thursday to go in and clean out all the endo...plus take care of my mutating ovary/endo/cyst problem. At least they know I wasn't faking the pain... I really just want to cry. Instead I am going to bed.
Monday, May 14, 2007
What a Mother's Day...
So yesterday was Mother's Day. I was really hoping it might work out to just end up pregnant, then I could announce it at mothers day and that would be such an easy gift...no luck there, so I went with good old normal presents. My aunt from the Left Coast flew in to be with my Nana (and of course all of us, because we rock) so that was really amazing. We have such a wonderful family, it's always great to have as many of us there as possible.
Anyway, Missy was working, but Boo, Nick and I had this perfect meal planned. We were so on the ball. Up at nine and right to work (after McD's breakfast...mmmm). We knew we were getting a late start, and really should have done this all Saturday, but we had a wedding. A wedding that I have many pictures from and will do a post about later in the week....back to the point. We go to Meijers to get all the food. It takes us a while, but we are still okay. We walk out to the car to put the food in and rush home to start creating our feast...and Nick points out a clearly flat tire. Damn it. Time to get out the spare...this is such a waste of time....wait...no spare. Damn it!
So, we end up calling Liz, who even though she is having her own mother over soon and is busy cleaning and getting ready, jumps in her car and runs over to get us (thanks!!). We get Old Blue, then head back to Meijers to work out the car problem. We end up getting the car towed, and spending an ungodly amount of time at the tire place. We also had to return all the wonderful meal fixings we bought...because there was clearly no time for any of that now, and buy all pre-made food. What a lame meal for our perfect mother!
We basically left straight from the tire place to my parents house about an hour away. We were dirty and not really cute at all, with our store bought food...oh the shame. We did come with rather great presents, and it all actually turned out to be a really nice night. So....Happy Mothers Day mom! I love you so much! I wish we could have made you all of your favorite foods, but you are always so easy I know you would never complain. Your the best mom ever!
***I actually wrote this post this morning, but just didn't get it all the way finished. I thought I was going to have a really easy month with my endo. Some pain, but nothing that knocked me on my back...until today. My hands are actually shaking a little because it hurts so bad. I am on the most pain meds I can take, and it is still killing me. I finally left work, knowing it wasn't getting any better and all I could do was rest. Anyways, just thought I would get this up before I eat my french fries and pass out...***
Anyway, Missy was working, but Boo, Nick and I had this perfect meal planned. We were so on the ball. Up at nine and right to work (after McD's breakfast...mmmm). We knew we were getting a late start, and really should have done this all Saturday, but we had a wedding. A wedding that I have many pictures from and will do a post about later in the week....back to the point. We go to Meijers to get all the food. It takes us a while, but we are still okay. We walk out to the car to put the food in and rush home to start creating our feast...and Nick points out a clearly flat tire. Damn it. Time to get out the spare...this is such a waste of time....wait...no spare. Damn it!
So, we end up calling Liz, who even though she is having her own mother over soon and is busy cleaning and getting ready, jumps in her car and runs over to get us (thanks!!). We get Old Blue, then head back to Meijers to work out the car problem. We end up getting the car towed, and spending an ungodly amount of time at the tire place. We also had to return all the wonderful meal fixings we bought...because there was clearly no time for any of that now, and buy all pre-made food. What a lame meal for our perfect mother!
We basically left straight from the tire place to my parents house about an hour away. We were dirty and not really cute at all, with our store bought food...oh the shame. We did come with rather great presents, and it all actually turned out to be a really nice night. So....Happy Mothers Day mom! I love you so much! I wish we could have made you all of your favorite foods, but you are always so easy I know you would never complain. Your the best mom ever!
***I actually wrote this post this morning, but just didn't get it all the way finished. I thought I was going to have a really easy month with my endo. Some pain, but nothing that knocked me on my back...until today. My hands are actually shaking a little because it hurts so bad. I am on the most pain meds I can take, and it is still killing me. I finally left work, knowing it wasn't getting any better and all I could do was rest. Anyways, just thought I would get this up before I eat my french fries and pass out...***
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Awesome...
You know what is really awesome? When you keep your pop on the top shelf of your fridge right next to the cooling until. You know what is really awesome about that? That is has the ability to freeze the pop, causing a huge explosion of soda all over your completely Innocent food. You know what makes it even better? When the pop that exploded is a Sunkist. That's right folks. It looks like an orange paint bomb went off in there. I have orange spray all over everything...settled into the top of my butter, inside my bag of asparagus, all over the walls and ceiling, dripping down onto all three shelves plus in the bottom drawers....yep, that is awesome.
I actually didn't even clean it up. I was feeling really bad with my endo last night, so Nick took care of it. Plus he did all the laundry...now that really is awesome! I am still feeling pretty shitty, but am good enough to go to work this morning, so we will see how the rest of the day goes. I have Lunch Bunch over at Charings house today, and god knows that's my favorite day of the week. Damn endo.
I actually didn't even clean it up. I was feeling really bad with my endo last night, so Nick took care of it. Plus he did all the laundry...now that really is awesome! I am still feeling pretty shitty, but am good enough to go to work this morning, so we will see how the rest of the day goes. I have Lunch Bunch over at Charings house today, and god knows that's my favorite day of the week. Damn endo.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Socks
I am kind of a freak about socks. I hate them. Not just some little dislike...no, no. A deep down loathing. The actual problem stems from washing, sorting and folding socks. Something must have happened to me when I was young which scarred me. I just want to cry when I see a basket of dozens of different socks, all inside out, all different shapes and sizes...makes my skin crawl.
Anyways, several years ago I had this genius idea (was this really my idea, or did I steal it...can't remember...oh well, I think I will claim it as my own). I realized how much easier life would be if I only had one sock. That's right folks. I tossed out all of my mismatched annoying socks for my new single sock. No more matching because every sock I owned matched every other sock I owned!
There was, of course, the one catch. Picking out the perfect sock. It took a lot of searching, but I finally found it. Not to thick, not to thin. Elastic didn't cut into my legs and make me itch. Ribs not to wide, not to thin, all the way down to the toe. Tall enough to be worn straight up, but also able to be pushed down and not look like a scrunchy sock. Looks okay inside out...this might seem like a strange one, but with my hatred of turning the sock right side in, it was a necessity....anyways, I found the golden (coincidentally Gold Toe) sock. I stocked up. No joke, I have not bought a white sock in like three years. So imagine my heart ache to go sock shopping (because I am down to six pairs...and that is really annoying) and MY SOCK IS GONE! That's right folks. I have been everywhere. Apparently the evil masterminds behind Gold Toe were on to my plan and took it off the market! They knew I would have to start and entire new sock wardrobe...Just kill me. I now must start the quest again...then throw out my perfect old socks...can't have them mucking up the system....*sigh*
Anyways, several years ago I had this genius idea (was this really my idea, or did I steal it...can't remember...oh well, I think I will claim it as my own). I realized how much easier life would be if I only had one sock. That's right folks. I tossed out all of my mismatched annoying socks for my new single sock. No more matching because every sock I owned matched every other sock I owned!
There was, of course, the one catch. Picking out the perfect sock. It took a lot of searching, but I finally found it. Not to thick, not to thin. Elastic didn't cut into my legs and make me itch. Ribs not to wide, not to thin, all the way down to the toe. Tall enough to be worn straight up, but also able to be pushed down and not look like a scrunchy sock. Looks okay inside out...this might seem like a strange one, but with my hatred of turning the sock right side in, it was a necessity....anyways, I found the golden (coincidentally Gold Toe) sock. I stocked up. No joke, I have not bought a white sock in like three years. So imagine my heart ache to go sock shopping (because I am down to six pairs...and that is really annoying) and MY SOCK IS GONE! That's right folks. I have been everywhere. Apparently the evil masterminds behind Gold Toe were on to my plan and took it off the market! They knew I would have to start and entire new sock wardrobe...Just kill me. I now must start the quest again...then throw out my perfect old socks...can't have them mucking up the system....*sigh*
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Tag!!!
Well, it has finally happened. I have been tagged to fill out a blog survey....a new level of fame. I am just ignoring the fact that this tag came from my wonderful Aunt over on the Left Coast....I am sure our blood relation had nothing to do with it. So, here are ten things I bet you didn't know...
1. I had three majors in college (anthropology, nursing and then biology)...four if you count the time I spent undeclared. I was very overwhelmed with the idea of deciding on what I want to do for the rest of my life. I finally settled on ....doctor. Hence the biology degree. Once I graduated I realized I was not passionate enough about school and my education to make it past four years of medical school and then residency, so I eventually found a job in my field that I love. Sometimes I think of where I would be in the process...and realize it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
2. I lived with a crazy girl when I lived in the dorms. She thought it was okay to wear her bra as a shirt...to the courthouse...because you know, it looked exactly like a bikini top. She cut and bleached (with chlorox) her own hair because she wanted to look like a Dixie Chick...then was SHOCKED when all the skin pealed off her hands and her hair broke off....She drank fingernail polish remover once because she thought it had alcohol in it....CRAZY. By the end of the year I had this strange love for her and sometimes think of her and hope she's ok.
3. I got my first apartment before I even graduated from high school. I have the best family ever, there were no issues there, I just wanted my freedom. It didn't work out well. By the end of summer we went our separate ways...leading to me crashing my entire first semester in a friends dorm room...sharing her twin bed...no lie, before moving into my own dorm with crazy girl from number two. I am not friends with really anybody from that apartment anymore, but it was a really great summer.
4. I was in a sorority in college. I joined my junior year because I really needed school involvement for my medical school applications and my friend and I thought it would be cool to carry around the bags with the letters on them. I never thought I would love it like I did. When I have daughters I will want them to join a sorority if they are up to it. The sisterhood and support is amazing at such a difficult time of transitions. I am always proud when I see girls wearing my letters around town.
5. I am left handed. I am really left bodied. I can barely function with my right hand. Really it is just there to look pretty. I have lived my entire life with the smudge on my palm, but I have always really liked being a lefty.
6. I have an infatuation with the Aurora Borealis. I am not sure where it comes from, but the idea of the northern lights fascinates me. Nick and I really wanted to do a cruise to Alaska for our honeymoon, but were not able to work it out. It is one of those things that I just must see at some point.
7. I am sometimes a little obsessive. I decide I need something, and I need it NOW. I stole my sisters on a whim for a birthday surprise to Florida one year, just because I thought it sounded fun to take a vacation. I was not looking for a house at all...and actually did not even have a job, when I decided I needed to buy our home. I will do anything to get what it is that I decided I need. It usually works out pretty well.
8. I have an addition to all things sci fi. I was raised as Star Trek fan, and to this day LOVE it. While in Vegas, my Aunts took us to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton and I basically thought it rocked. Nick and I camped out for Star Wars tickets for not only the first one...but the second one as well. We could have gotten tickets online, but wanted to hang out with the other nerds like ourselves. We love the X-files...we basically love it all!
9. I know I have mentioned that my sister and I sell things on eBay sometimes...but I don't think I mentioned that we sold designer purses we bought at flea markets for thousands of dollars. It. Was. Awesome. you know...until we found out it was wrong or whatever and then stopped. Before we gave it up we made enough money to fly the two of us plus our little sister out to Vegas for a bachelorette party. Can't beat that.
10. Nick and I are trying for a baby. I hadn't decided when I was going to mention it on the old blog...but now seems about right (for those of you still reading...good job!). With my endometriosis, we are expecting a difficult road, so don't expect any big news soon...just thought I would fill you in. It is really big to us to be making this step, and we are both so excited we are here...just hope it doesn't take to long.
So, that's it. My ten things. It was a little harder than I thought..I guess because I already talk about myself like, you know...all the time on this blog. Anyways, I am only going to tag Boo...who is working on setting up her blog now. It will be up and running by next weekend, and this seems like a good early post!
1. I had three majors in college (anthropology, nursing and then biology)...four if you count the time I spent undeclared. I was very overwhelmed with the idea of deciding on what I want to do for the rest of my life. I finally settled on ....doctor. Hence the biology degree. Once I graduated I realized I was not passionate enough about school and my education to make it past four years of medical school and then residency, so I eventually found a job in my field that I love. Sometimes I think of where I would be in the process...and realize it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
2. I lived with a crazy girl when I lived in the dorms. She thought it was okay to wear her bra as a shirt...to the courthouse...because you know, it looked exactly like a bikini top. She cut and bleached (with chlorox) her own hair because she wanted to look like a Dixie Chick...then was SHOCKED when all the skin pealed off her hands and her hair broke off....She drank fingernail polish remover once because she thought it had alcohol in it....CRAZY. By the end of the year I had this strange love for her and sometimes think of her and hope she's ok.
3. I got my first apartment before I even graduated from high school. I have the best family ever, there were no issues there, I just wanted my freedom. It didn't work out well. By the end of summer we went our separate ways...leading to me crashing my entire first semester in a friends dorm room...sharing her twin bed...no lie, before moving into my own dorm with crazy girl from number two. I am not friends with really anybody from that apartment anymore, but it was a really great summer.
4. I was in a sorority in college. I joined my junior year because I really needed school involvement for my medical school applications and my friend and I thought it would be cool to carry around the bags with the letters on them. I never thought I would love it like I did. When I have daughters I will want them to join a sorority if they are up to it. The sisterhood and support is amazing at such a difficult time of transitions. I am always proud when I see girls wearing my letters around town.
5. I am left handed. I am really left bodied. I can barely function with my right hand. Really it is just there to look pretty. I have lived my entire life with the smudge on my palm, but I have always really liked being a lefty.
6. I have an infatuation with the Aurora Borealis. I am not sure where it comes from, but the idea of the northern lights fascinates me. Nick and I really wanted to do a cruise to Alaska for our honeymoon, but were not able to work it out. It is one of those things that I just must see at some point.
7. I am sometimes a little obsessive. I decide I need something, and I need it NOW. I stole my sisters on a whim for a birthday surprise to Florida one year, just because I thought it sounded fun to take a vacation. I was not looking for a house at all...and actually did not even have a job, when I decided I needed to buy our home. I will do anything to get what it is that I decided I need. It usually works out pretty well.
8. I have an addition to all things sci fi. I was raised as Star Trek fan, and to this day LOVE it. While in Vegas, my Aunts took us to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton and I basically thought it rocked. Nick and I camped out for Star Wars tickets for not only the first one...but the second one as well. We could have gotten tickets online, but wanted to hang out with the other nerds like ourselves. We love the X-files...we basically love it all!
9. I know I have mentioned that my sister and I sell things on eBay sometimes...but I don't think I mentioned that we sold designer purses we bought at flea markets for thousands of dollars. It. Was. Awesome. you know...until we found out it was wrong or whatever and then stopped. Before we gave it up we made enough money to fly the two of us plus our little sister out to Vegas for a bachelorette party. Can't beat that.
10. Nick and I are trying for a baby. I hadn't decided when I was going to mention it on the old blog...but now seems about right (for those of you still reading...good job!). With my endometriosis, we are expecting a difficult road, so don't expect any big news soon...just thought I would fill you in. It is really big to us to be making this step, and we are both so excited we are here...just hope it doesn't take to long.
So, that's it. My ten things. It was a little harder than I thought..I guess because I already talk about myself like, you know...all the time on this blog. Anyways, I am only going to tag Boo...who is working on setting up her blog now. It will be up and running by next weekend, and this seems like a good early post!
Friday, May 4, 2007
The Heat
Does everyone know about The Heat? It is that hot feeling that runs through your body at the exact moment you put your foot in your mouth...or it comes when you have just been caught...or you think you might be caught, doing something you shouldn't really be doing. The heat is a strong sensation, your ears burn, your heart rate picks up...your body goes on high alert. Directly into damage control. I know this heat well (as does Charing, who talks about it a lot)....maybe too well, but whatever. The point of this post is not to tell you all exactly how often I seem to put my foot in my mouth or get caught in the wrong...it is to tell you that in my evaluation....that's right folks...I was struck with a serious case of The Heat.
There I was, sitting in my evaluation, things going really well, me thinking everything is perfect and I am so tip top wonderful that nothing can go wrong...and then they say something about being on the computer. No big deal here, I say to myself. I am 99% on the computer for work stuff. Sure, I check my personal email, but that is mainly it. We only have one computer in the lab, and it is slow as hell. When I am on it, I am working. So, I am thinking the personal email might come up. Okay, who doesn't check theirs, right? No no. They say that they had checked the history on the computer (all friendly talking here, no mean daggers or scarring situations) and that we had been on person email...5/3 bank...bla bla bla... then it happened..we had been to Bio Girl. HEAT. It was a passing comment, nobody dwelled on it. I don't really think they come to the site, or read it daily or anything. If they stuck around and read it, they didn't seem to have problems with it, but still... STILL.
My mind starts racing. Oh God, Oh God...seriously...you all know about this? I mean, sure I have been to the blog. I check in every now and then....and I do understand that I am posting all my thoughts and feelings for the world to see, but somehow I never really thought they would read it. I start thinking back...what did I say....last post, last post...SHIT. Talking about the self evaluations. HEAT.
Then I thought a little more. I really do like my job. I don't think I have ever said anything bad on here about it. I talk about work, but never in a negative "stupid company" kind of way. So...you might be surprised I am talking about this on here...drawing even more attention to it, but I have given it some thought and figure better to take the bull by the horns....so here is my letter to work...you know, in case they ever come back to see what I have to say about life in general....which I am pretty sure they wont do, but just in case...
Dear wonderful company that I work for,
Let me first point out how I never EVER would even think about using your name on my blog. See how I never do that? Really good of me, right? If you notice, I don't even use my very unusual last name, so basically I am totally incognito....no client will be googling us and find this blog. No way, no how. I will also point out how I only use the names of coworkers who know they are on the blog...yet again I am really on top of things. Also take note of how I never say anything bad about you all because I totally love my job and all that jazz...and I think you all are tops...and I really appreciate the rocken evaluation you gave me. Yep... that was awesome. Totally made my day, or my week even. So...thanks for stopping by. (*sigh*...*heat*)
Your Favorite Employee,
Sarah
PS All that stuff about thinking the self evaluations were dumb...totally a lie. I LOVED filling it out. That's right. I thought it was a wonderful look into myself. ummm....*heat*
There I was, sitting in my evaluation, things going really well, me thinking everything is perfect and I am so tip top wonderful that nothing can go wrong...and then they say something about being on the computer. No big deal here, I say to myself. I am 99% on the computer for work stuff. Sure, I check my personal email, but that is mainly it. We only have one computer in the lab, and it is slow as hell. When I am on it, I am working. So, I am thinking the personal email might come up. Okay, who doesn't check theirs, right? No no. They say that they had checked the history on the computer (all friendly talking here, no mean daggers or scarring situations) and that we had been on person email...5/3 bank...bla bla bla... then it happened..we had been to Bio Girl. HEAT. It was a passing comment, nobody dwelled on it. I don't really think they come to the site, or read it daily or anything. If they stuck around and read it, they didn't seem to have problems with it, but still... STILL.
My mind starts racing. Oh God, Oh God...seriously...you all know about this? I mean, sure I have been to the blog. I check in every now and then....and I do understand that I am posting all my thoughts and feelings for the world to see, but somehow I never really thought they would read it. I start thinking back...what did I say....last post, last post...SHIT. Talking about the self evaluations. HEAT.
Then I thought a little more. I really do like my job. I don't think I have ever said anything bad on here about it. I talk about work, but never in a negative "stupid company" kind of way. So...you might be surprised I am talking about this on here...drawing even more attention to it, but I have given it some thought and figure better to take the bull by the horns....so here is my letter to work...you know, in case they ever come back to see what I have to say about life in general....which I am pretty sure they wont do, but just in case...
Dear wonderful company that I work for,
Let me first point out how I never EVER would even think about using your name on my blog. See how I never do that? Really good of me, right? If you notice, I don't even use my very unusual last name, so basically I am totally incognito....no client will be googling us and find this blog. No way, no how. I will also point out how I only use the names of coworkers who know they are on the blog...yet again I am really on top of things. Also take note of how I never say anything bad about you all because I totally love my job and all that jazz...and I think you all are tops...and I really appreciate the rocken evaluation you gave me. Yep... that was awesome. Totally made my day, or my week even. So...thanks for stopping by. (*sigh*...*heat*)
Your Favorite Employee,
Sarah
PS All that stuff about thinking the self evaluations were dumb...totally a lie. I LOVED filling it out. That's right. I thought it was a wonderful look into myself. ummm....*heat*
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Self Evaluation
I just got in from work. I have been working on my self evaluation because our yearly reviews are tomorrow. Is it wrong to put that you are the best thing that has ever happened to a company and that they would crumble without you? Does that sound a little conceded? Thought so. I avoided it. How about one of my goals for next year being "make WAY more money"...to obvious? I thought so too.
Seriously, how in the hell are you suppose to fill these out. I mean, like I am going to put under punctuality that I totally suck and I am always 10 minutes late and I have tried to stop, but I just can't. Sounds great, right? Very porfessional. It is just a little game of me trying to say how great I am without wanting to sound like I am just saying how great I am...which, OBVIOUSLY I am totally the greatest...so at least I don't have to lie about that.
On a different note, looks like everyone will have to wait a little while to see how the whole bike riding thing works out for me. Nick said he really wants me to wait until a weekend to give it a go, and I don't work a weekend for three weeks. I know you all are heart broken. Apparently the GM was as worried about me as everyone else. I asked her if I might be able to use the company car. I told her that I could always just ride my bike, so it wasn't a big deal if I couldn't take it. She looked at me a little shocked, shook her head really slow and said, "It is going to be raining! Just take the pathfinder until you get it worked out!" Awesome, right? So now I am tooling around (that's right) in the company car. Way cooler than old blue...and way safer than the bike!
Seriously, how in the hell are you suppose to fill these out. I mean, like I am going to put under punctuality that I totally suck and I am always 10 minutes late and I have tried to stop, but I just can't. Sounds great, right? Very porfessional. It is just a little game of me trying to say how great I am without wanting to sound like I am just saying how great I am...which, OBVIOUSLY I am totally the greatest...so at least I don't have to lie about that.
On a different note, looks like everyone will have to wait a little while to see how the whole bike riding thing works out for me. Nick said he really wants me to wait until a weekend to give it a go, and I don't work a weekend for three weeks. I know you all are heart broken. Apparently the GM was as worried about me as everyone else. I asked her if I might be able to use the company car. I told her that I could always just ride my bike, so it wasn't a big deal if I couldn't take it. She looked at me a little shocked, shook her head really slow and said, "It is going to be raining! Just take the pathfinder until you get it worked out!" Awesome, right? So now I am tooling around (that's right) in the company car. Way cooler than old blue...and way safer than the bike!
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