Keys

I have a monstrous key ring. Any time anyone uses my keys they are all like, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DISASTER?? I have never really seen what the big deal is. I have a little coach hook key chain, and two sorority key chains. I have been meaning to take the Kappa Delta one off for some time now (I guess for like three years because that is how long I have been out of school) but besides that, they were MY KEYS. Doesn't everybody have this many keys?? How do you get into places?

So, Candice calls me the other day. She asks me if I am near her house. I tell her that I am not even kinda near her house. She tells me that she might have left her straightener on, and that she is on her way to Cincinnati for a Bengals game and can't turn around. Can I please go check so that all her precious things do not go up in smoke. Not really liking the idea of her being homeless, I say yes, and ask if the door is unlocked. She then tells me that I have a key. REALLY?? Man, is one of these keys hers? Crazy! Boo and I head over there, we get to the door and I start trying all my keys. As I am working my way down the key chain Boo is standing there with her head turned, looking puzzled. I throw my hands in the air and declare none of these keys work, and that Nick must have it.

We get in the car, drive all the way over to my house, get Nicks keys. This is when I noticed how few keys he had to choose from. I actually new what every key went to. How is that possible?? Clearly no mystery keys to Candice's house. I then dig through a bowl of change and come up with a new key. Looks right to me! Boo and I head back over. I put the mystery key in, but there is no click (come to think of it, I still have no freaking clue what THAT key is for...hua). I do smell at the door to see if there is smoke, but I don't smell a thing. At this point Candice calls back, have I gotten in?? how are all her things? I break the news. I can't find the key. She tells me she KNOWS she gave it to me. I decide, in a last ditch effort, to dig through the bottom of my purse. There, in all its glory was Candice's house key!

We let ourselves in, as Boo yells, "Oh God the Fire, The FLAMES!!!" (just to mess with Candice a little....Boo does not like driving around in her car with no air...it makes her mean) as we head into the bedroom. The straightener was off. (and totally unplugged from the wall...just saying...) No fire, no flames. All is right with the world. Now, Boo turns to me and says, "What in the hell are all those keys for? " I look down, a little taken aback and begin to explain. Well, I have a work key, and my house key, a car key, then of course a key to Boo and Chris's, not sure about this one, one to Liz and Cory's, one to Candice's, this one is also a mystery, one to Sally and Ron's, one to Mom and Dad's...you know....in case of emergency's! (not to mention I have the Kelsey's garage code...you know, in case they need me)

Boo, then pulls out her keys. She has her house and her car. THAT'S IT! I turn my head, SHOCKED. I just realized, the reason I have the monster keyring is because I am EVERYONES in case of emergency person! What the hell are you all thinking? Do you know me? It took me over an hour to make sure Candice's house was not burning down....Boo would have them all color coordinated based on each of our favorite colors, and would monthly drop by to check and make sure it still works. You have all chosen very poorly my friends...but I will be there (eventually) to let you in with my large collection of mystery keys!