Hunger

I have a problem. I cannot stop eating. Seriously. I even woke up in the middle of the night last night hungry. Did I eat dinner you ask....well of course I did. I would NEVER skip a meal! Nick actually made dinner (second night in a row, god bless him) and it was wonderful. I ate until I thought I was going to die, so...you know...I didn't hold back. Now, I did manage to cut out my evening cookies and milk last night due to the size or the chicken parmigiana sandwich, but still. This hardly seems a good reason for the three am alarm clock of my stomach growling!

I think the actual problem is that I have given up on all dieting as of late, and have eaten whatever my heart desires. I forced myself onto my scale this weekend, and have since realized I need to practice some form of self control. The thing is...since the scale issues, I TOLD myself to practice self control, but besides the no-cookies last night, I really haven't done that at all. I have eaten like a pig. So...I ask you, why am I still always hungry? We had the biggest meal of our lives at the cheesecake factory. I was so full I was sick. By the time we got home...I had the craving to just eat a little something...just to hold me over. I have no idea what I was wanting to hold myself over for...but still. I ate. As I was sitting at work today, I had to force myself to stay in my chair and not go get a snacker from McDonalds. It was like, an hour after lunch.

So...is it just the fear of my soon to start diet? Is it that I am eating a bunch of junk like McDonalds and potato chips, so I am not really satisfying the hunger? Is it my new found coping mechanism? I do not know. What I do know is that if I don't get this crazy hunger under control soon...I am going to have to go and buy some new clothes, and although that sounds enjoyable in theory, going up a size is never fun...

**also, for the record, I DID NOT actually eat at three in the morning. That just seemed like the start of something terrible...***