Substitute

So I had to move my focus. I had to find something else to think about. There was just no way the next two weeks could be "what-if" focused. I mean, this is THE FIRST ATTEMPT. I would like to believe that it will get easier if it doesn't work. That I will then go back to knowing it is hard, knowing it doesn't just work for everyone. I am just not sure. What I do know is this time it is hard. Anyway, my substitute obsession...I am planning Boo's baby shower! She has found out that they will be going to get their little girl really soon, so it was time for a shower so she can get everything she needs! Me, Liz, Mrs. Who, and my sister Missy are all throwing her an in town shower. My sweet mom is throwing her a family shower as well...so she will have a couple of Avery focused weekends!

I didn't realize I was spending so much time thinking about the shower until last night. Liz made these amazing invitations, which Missy and I got addressed last night. Then we went and picked out all the decorations. Sounds normal, right. Not for me. I went to bed, and I COULD NOT STOP thinking about it. "oh...it would be cute if we..", "what about....", "I bet we could...". I am so excited to be working on it. I am so excited with how well it is coming together. Nobody deserves a perfect baby shower as much as Boo. Plus, I am so happy to have the distraction...the only problem...I was so tired. SO TIRED, and yet I could not turn off my mind. "Shower gift...balloons...food...what-if...". As long as my days have felt lately, and slow as time seems to be moving, can't a girl catch a break and actually be able to fall asleep before three in the morning??