Update

So I went to the doctor. Your comments helped to justify me making the appointment, but the real push was this terrible, terrible video my cousin Liz sent me of an infected spider bite. It was awful. It will give me nightmares. It was so horrifying that I am not even linking to it, but if you want to be sick, go to youtube and do a search for spider bites. You will never forget it...

Anyway, the doc said that it looked really bad. He said he couldn't say for sure that it was a spider, but something bit me and I am clearly having a bad reaction to it. He also said it was infected and so I am now on Zyrtec for the reaction and an antibiotic for the infection. he said if it doesn't get better soon, to come back because spider bites (or I guess other insect bites...) can be really serious and this was a nasty one. He most definitely did not make fun of me for coming to the doctor or over reacting, so that's good!

As soon as I saw the look on his face I was really glad I went to the doctor. I am also glad I already had my antibiotics before I got my last comment! If I had still been hesitating to go, that one would have talked me in to it for sure! Thanks for all your advice. I am sure I will be better in no time!

Itchy Itchy...

So I have...something...on my arm. It started out as this tiny little scratch. Seriously tiny. Like so tiny that most normal non-obsessive people might not even notice it. Then when I woke up on Monday something had changed...it was really really REALLY itchy. My thought was that my little cut was healing. Things itch when they heal, right? Eventually I get up and check it out. Dear god what happened to my arm. The place where the small cut was, there is how a HUGE swollen red welt. Then the place right below it had it's own equally large red welt which was also burning like fire and screaming to be scratched.

I point this out to Nick and he seems unimpressed. He says it looks infected, and for the love of god stop touching it. I try to oblige. The thing is, I CANNOT leave it alone. I catch myself scratching as soon as I forget I am not suppose to. I wake up in the night scratching. WHAT THE HELL. It then started oozing. Wow, this is really a sick post. At least I am not including pictures. It took everything in me not to take them and load them, but really, who wants to see that? I don't even want to see it and it is on my arm!

I keep thinking it will surely go away. I am on board with Nick on it just being infected, but the second bump is making me question it a little. When I got to work yesterday I showed Tarp and Justin and they decided it looked like....Poison Ivy. Here is the catch. I am not actually allergic to poison ivy. They still think it is some bad reaction to something and I need to go get something to cover that shit up quick. (I am sure they were worried about my well being here and not that it might possibly spread to them or anything)

I run to kroger and go to grab so anti-itch cream and a bandage. I am on the phone with Charing who was smart enough to tell me ask the pharmacist what I can take because of the fertility stuff. Score one for her being on top of things. The pharmacist said that he was pretty sure that it was... SPIDER BITES! Yes. Feel free to squirm in your seat now. He said he can see the puncture wounds by each welt, and that he was pretty sure that was what it was.

I cannot begin to tell you how this makes my skin crawl. A spider bite. No, no. MULTIPLE spider bites! I like to think that spiders and I don't actually live in the same world. I don't mess with them. They don't mess with me. The idea of one getting all up on me and actually taking bites out of my arm is just HORRIFYING! So...here is my question to you. Have you all ever had a spider bite? I put everything on it the pharmacist told me to, but it is still really red and really itchy and kinda looks broken out. The size of the welts seem to be going down, but the redness is spreading. Would it be over reacting to go to the doctor? I mean, people like, lose limbs from spider bites, right? Am I over reacting because it was a SPIDER? A nasty eight legged spider crawling on me...and now I am itchy, itchy, itchy...I'm not over reacting, right? RIGHT??

Midnight

So it is midnight and I am seriously WIDE AWAKE. I guess that is what I get for spending the entire day on the couch napping and watching hours and hours of TV...not that I am complaining or anything. Honestly it was a pretty good day! Nick and I had our appointments for the IUI, which seemed to go just fine. Just like the last two times, but this time I was in room #2 instead of room #1...that's all I got. Maybe the difference will be enough to change our luck around! I was also smart enough this time to bring my ipod so after the actually did the transfer and then left me in the room to lay still, I had some music to listen to...right around the time I am done with all this fertility stuff I will have a really good system worked out!

Nick ended up taking the day off work too. We have been doing a little (big) bathroom remodeling project. I will get some pics up for you all soon. We are actually working on the bathroom we already have, not the addition. This work included pulling up all the flooring down to the sub floor and replacing all the wood, then the actual floor. While we were at it we went ahead and bought a new vanity and sink. Now we just need to change the mirror, patch the wall and paint. It already looks really amazing in there. Unfortunately for me in order to do all this work the bathroom was out of commission for most of the day Saturday and half the day Sunday. It is our only bathroom...and my bladder doesn't take well to being told it CAN'T do what it wants...really it was more that my mind kept telling me how thirsty I was...but I knew better. I made it through the day with only two trips to alternate bathroom locations. All in all a successful renovation!

Anyway, Nick stayed home to finish up the bathroom and I stayed home and did a bunch of nothing. I watch the Grey's finale (which I enjoyed, but did cry during), two episodes of Top Chef, three episodes of season one of Lost (LOVE that show) and then took a three hour nap. I did manage to pull myself together long enough to made a good dinner, and then went right back to the couch to watch a movie with Nick. All in all it made for a good implantation day! Now I guess I should try to get some sleep...

Memorial Day Cookout

So, actually our Memorial Day cookout wasn't truly on Memorial Day, but whatever. Candice and Davis had everyone over last night so that we could all have a day to relax and recover today before we head back into work. Of course, I am not going to work tomorrow either, and also I wasn't drinkin, so really the cookout could have happened on a Wednesday night and I would have been cool with it...still, it isn't about me and I am sure all the drinkers will be thankful for the extra day of rest!

Anyway, the cookout was great. Tons of wonderful food, lots of good conversation. Some corn hole, some wiffle ball, some Mario Cart on the Wii, some Apples to Apples...really a perfect start to the summer! Here are some pictures of the festivities...

Here is me and the hostess of the event...chillin' on their new patio which was amazing...to bad I didn't take a picture of the actual patio...

Carter was completely taken with the patio...Me and Nick
Me, Charing and Carter. No way did we let him fall right off the swing onto his head right after this picture was taken. I mean, how could that happen with one of us on each side. I most definitely didn't think he was getting down and give him a little push to assist...which lead to the head to ground contact. Absolutely not.Ryan and Arielle looking pretty adorable
The guys playing Corn Hole...
Just a boy and his bat...a shot to make his daddy proud!Boo and Charing Boo, Chris and RhiCater with his ImaEllie enjoying the nice day...we actually had a pack of wild dogs running around this little cookout...there were six in total...and they all wanted to be under our feet at all times.I am now realizing how many pictures I actually took of Carter...but I do love him! I took this one while he was sitting on my lap. I also love my camera...The wiffle ball game. My team was completely crushed, but the other team nicely called it a tie. Scott and Morgan, who are both going to play on our flag football team in the bluegrass state games..we are gonna be awesome.And finally Candice and Davis. His poor little eyes are so red from manning the grill all night. The price you pay to be a good host...

So that's it. Hope everyone else is having a great holiday weekend too!

Emotional TV

Have you all been watching TV lately? I swear every show I watch has been reducing me to tears. Come to think if it, it might have something to do with all the hormones I am on....hmm... I actually hadn't thought of that until just now...but whatever. We will just ignore the hormones as a possible cause of the tears and completely give credit to the writers. Now, if you are a DVR addict like myself and you may not have totally caught up on your shows, just skip over your show...I will Bold the title so you wont accidentally read some huge spoiler...

House-Did you see that season finale?? I wasn't even a fan of Amber. Seriously, I haven't been watching the show long and she was kinda bitchy. If her and Wilson had broken up I would never have thought twice about her...but the heart ache....them laying in the hospital bed, both knowing she was going to die...good lord.

Grey's Anatomy-I haven't actually watched the finale from last night, so this post will be about last weeks episode. OH MY GOD. The girl with the brain tumor who thought she had a boyfriend but then they convinced her she made him up because of the tumor and she was SOBBING and then they take her into surgery and the boyfriend turns out to be real and shows up, but it's to late and she DIED! Seriously people, I was a puddle of tears on the couch. The boyfriend was crying...her last thought was that he wasn't real, and HE WAS! heartache.

American Idol-I just love David Cook and I maybe cried a little out of joy when he won...but really just a little teary eyed...not rolling tears or anything. That would be weird. No way did that happen. Never mind...skip American Idol all together....

Brother's and Sisters-Okay, maybe the fertility stuff just hit a little close to home on this one, but I could really understand the pain...and then the love at the brothers wedding...and the fact that the boyfriend's parents wouldn't come, but then the dad sent the cuff links...*sob*

Lost-Why would Claire leave her baby?? WHY?? Why did they kill Charlie? Why can't Jack and Kate be happy? I am almost scared to watch the season finale next week because you know people are going to die...people like Jin who will never know his daughter! WHY??

The Office-Jim just wanted to propose to Pam. It broke my heart to see his sweet little heart broken when Andy stole his moment...bastard.

30 Rock-Lemon thought she was pregnant, and even though she was single and she was overwhelmed she was so excited. She totally embraced it....and then she found out it was a false positive due to eating to many cheese puffs...just horrible....

Okay, that's all I can really think of now. This might not be my best post...it really shines a light on how much I watch TV, and even more on how I might kinda feel like the TV characters are real people...hmm...yep, I am sure it's all the hormones...

IUI #3

Well, looks like we are a go for IUI #3! I am excited, but at the same time I am ready for it to be another no. I guess that is a good place to be. I went in for my ultrasound and found out that I will be ovulating on Tuesday. That means I will be taking Tuesday off, so I will get a four day weekend. Score! I think I am ovulating two egg's, both from the left side. God bless my little left ovary. It is such a trooper with it's ovulating three months in a row!

I talked a lot with Doc about the bleeding issue. I have been thinking about it a lot, and really I have had spotting in the middle of my cycle for ages. It was actually the first thing I had going on when I went to the doctor for what eventually led to my endometriosis diagnosis. I don't seem to have the problem when I am on no hormones, but whenever I was on birth control or any hormone treatments I seem to just bleed all the time.

Doc really wants to get the spotting to stop, so he is adding some extra hormones to the mix. In addition to the Clomid that I already took this month, I am now taking estrogen. Then, three days after ovulation, I will start taking progesterone. Talk about one big ball of hormones! All of you just get ready for the crazy now! I did ask him if these new hormones would increase my chance of pregnancy, and he said there was no data to support that, but that it should prevent the early spotting. I am so glad I asked because I know I would have talked myself into thinking the new hormones made this would fix everything....which clearly they will not.

I am excited. I am hopeful. I am also ready to move into IVF with not regrets and no questions of if we did all we could. We are covering all bases. All prayers and well wishes are appreciated. Keep your fingers crossed!

Sleep Study

Well, Nick had a physical yesterday. This doesn't really seem like big news until I mention that Nick has not actually seen a doctor in about twelve years. He has been to the ER a couple of times for big things, and to the urgent treatment center for small things, but he has not had his own primary care physician since his pediatrician. Maybe it is because I am a girl, and I have always at least had my annual....maybe it is because my mom works at my pediatricians office so there was never an option of just not having a doctor or getting a check up, but whatever the reason, this has just amazed he for years. I have been trying to get him to a doctor, but he just doesn't want to mess with it.

Finally he decided it was time when he found out that both his father and brother had recently been to the doctor, and both been given sleep studies. They both found out they had sleep apnea. Nick has always had a very hard time getting real rest at night. He constantly wakes up and tosses and turns. He figured there was a good chance he also had the old apnea, so he got himself (I got him) and PCP.

His physical appointment was yesterday morning (he was not a fan of the fasting part of the blood work) and everything looked good. They gave him an EKG, which I thought was kinda crazy, but whatever. They then scheduled him for a sleep study for last night! They got right on it....Anyway, he had to be there at 8:30 last night. We go to bed around midnight, so I really thought it would be tough for him, but they let him lay there and watch TV until eleven. Then I guess it was lights out and sleep time. He said he was covered in sensors and that it was uncomfortable, but he was able to fall asleep in about half an hour.

They woke him up at six am and told him that he most definitely has sleep apnea. Now he gets a really cool Darth Vader type mask to sleep in every night. I am sure it is extremely sexy....he has to go back and do the study again with the mask on so they can figure out his settings and then he will be good to go. I am just so excited for him to actually get a good nights sleep. His brother and dad say that it has completely changed their lives. Chris actually said that he goes to bed around midnight and for the first month he would wake up at like four thirty feeling more rested than he ever has before...totally worth the Darth Vader mask!

Backyard Landscaping

Well, it was a really beautiful day yesterday, so I thought I would go out and finally take some picture of all our (Nick's) hard work in the backyard yard!

Here is the new path that nick put in that leads from the driveway to the back yard.Then along that right side fence we have a bed of wild flowers and zanias

The back right corner was always a really shady spot where we could never really get grass to grow, so Nick turned it in to a new bed.This will be easier to see when everything really grows in, but these are our fruit and vegetable beds. We are growing green, yellow and banana peppers, carrots, onions, broccoli, watermelon, green beans, squash, pumpkins and strawberries. We will see if we can handle all that...The strawberries are nearly ready to be picked...Nick built the handy little cover to keep all the birds out of the strawberry bed. Last year they took them all...And here is the new patio that Nick put in. We love it.These are a couple of new beds he put in around the new patioWe got these rose begonia's and I just love them...After all the work in the yard was done, we went out to dinner with Ryan and Arielle and Boo and Chris. Ryan and Arielle came over after dinner for some Mario cart on the Wii. Nick was a happy guy!

Skip That

So...basically just completely ignore that entire American Idol post, because I have totally flipped sides and am now going to the concert! I really was serious when I said I shouldn't spend the money right now. Nick and I have been having that good old "save money" conversation a lot lately, and even thought I know he wouldn't really care if I told him I REALLY wanted to go, I just couldn't. It was such a clear extra in the budget and I really am okay to not get EVERYTHING I want....

So how am I going, you ask? Well...I told Boo and Missy that I was going to have to sit this one out and Boo just wasn't having it. I told her I was fine with it...for them to go without me, but she went ahead a bought me a ticket anyway! She is a wonderful big sister who hates for me to miss things...but I SWEAR that was not the point of the post! I really was fine with missing it...but I am no SO EXCITED that I get to go. Thanks Boo!

In completely unrelated news, I am back on the Clomid. Today is day three of the five day cycle, so I am half way done. I wonder if I will be on Clomid during the IVF? I actually find myself thinking a lot about the IVF cycle. I do still have a small bit of hope for this last IUI cycle, but I guess I just don't have any faith in it for us anymore. I don't think it is a bad place to be. It is really where the doc told us to be from the beginning. It just took me a couple of really tries to realize that he knows what he is talking about. He had little hope in IUI, but he did have lots and lots of faith in IVF. We are now on the same track, and excited to start the step that the doc thinks might actually give us a baby!

American Idol Delema

I have this deep love for American Idol. I know that I should not be ashamed, the show is clearly very popular, so I know I am not alone...but still, for some reason this love seems a little embarrassing to me. Maybe it is because I was not a fan for so long. I didn't judge all you fan's out there, I just was never into it at all. I would watch the auditions because they made me and Nick laugh, but then we were done. This year was different. I cannot tell you why, but me and Nick both were totally hooked from the start. Missy is also a huge fan, so the three of us have enjoyed our weekly Idol fix.

Now, here is the thing. Did you know they have an American Idol tour? I had no idea. So this means the top ten contestants, all of whom I love (especially David Cook whom I will be voting for nonstop next Tuesday), will be traveling the nation putting on their show. And their show is coming to my home town. Like five minutes from my house...AND I REALLY WANT TO GO! I just don't know if I can allow myself to go from a new avid couch fan to actually joining the mass of AI enthusiasts who would actually pay $68 to see the show (they actually have upper arena tickets for less, but if I was to go, I wouldn't want to be that far away. no point in going if you can't actually see anything...). I mean, what do they even sing? Do they take turns, or do they all sing together? Is the concert full of only 13 year old David Archuletta fans? How do I know??

To make matters worse, my friend at work just bought tickets. She is so excited, and I know I will be so jealous when the concert comes around and she heads off to see all my favorite little Idols....but still...$68. Really more like $75 when you get all the tax and fees worked in. We are super tight on money right now what with vacation coming (god only knows how much gas alone will cost us) and the very likely IVF approaching, I just don't think I can do it. I didn't really mean to talk myself out of going while writing the post...but oh well. I will be so jealous when they come to town...

**also, not sure why I would be embarrassed to tell you I like the most popular show on TV, when I have already told you of our love of Futurama and the X-files...those two gotta be a little more nerdy that being an American Idol fan...**

Correspondence

Dear Diet Cherry 7up,

Where have you been all my life? As soon as I tasted your cherry sweet caffeine free goodness I wanted to cry. How lucky am I that someone realized the deliciousness of a Shirley Temple and managed to put it in an easy to purchase can. You make my days better my dear friend. I hope that we can continue this relationship for the rest of our lives. Thanks for everything...

Lots of Love,
Sarah


Dear Sweet Tea,

Why must your torment me so? With all of your sugary sweet goodness. You are all I ever want. When I go out to eat I am always drawn to you...and now they have you for $1 at McDonald's...ONE DOLLAR! How could I say no to you? You are so bad for me, and yet you taste so good...Still I must tell you that our love affair must end. I blame you and only you for the weight I have recently put on. It has nothing to do with the second helpings or the cookies and pies. It is you old friend. And you must go. I will miss you.

I Will Always Remember,
Sarah


Dear Margarita,

Hola mi amigo. I know you have been upset with me lately, and I feel that I should explain. I do see how nice it is outside, and I hear you calling me to join you on the patio, but I need some space right now. You see, the old surgeon general made this big to do about how you are bad for me right now, so although I love you and our summer fun, I just need some space. maybe sometime over the next two weeks we can get together and "just talk". Nothing serious though. I just cannot make a summer commitment to you at this time.

Yours Truly,
Sarah

Moving On

Well the test was all sorts of negative this morning. I would like to say that I was totally fine with it, but honestly it was still really hard. I had let the glimmer of hope in my heart kinda grow due to the fact that the spotting totally went away for about eight hours yesterday. I knew that happened last month too, but still the hope was building. Last night at ten I started cramping and I knew...I went on to bed, but woke up at four thirty MISERABLE with my endometriosis. It was really really bad. I got up, took a test to be sure (because I am still a touch of crazy...and because the doc said I always have to take a test before I can move on because of the Clomid) and then immediately started my paid medicine. Unfortunately, you know how it is when you are already miserable...the medicine takes a while to work. I couldn't stand, but laying down was miserable too. It was a bad night. I got up at five thirty and sent an email to work telling them I would see them Wednesday. I watched the sun come up...not sure when I finally passed out, but I think around seven.

I woke up just a bit ago and I feel much better. Still sore and uncomfortable, but the pain medicine is doing it's job. I am just planning to lay around the house and try to have a nice day off. I have lots of Lost to watch, so that should keep me entertained. The only good thing about the way this cycle works is that when you finally start, it is still day one of your next try. Day one of an entirely new cycle. Another chance. I just gotta move on.

I also just wanted to say thanks to all of you for always listening. I have always had a hard time complaining about myself. Complaining about thinks that annoys me...no problem...but when it is something about me, I feel like I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. This blog has really given me an outlet and I know that I talk about all of this stuff a lot on here, and it might all seem really repetitive, because it really is. When I reread my mother's day post I thought it was awfully winy and I didn't even mention that I had a WONDERFUL day with my WONDERFUL mother, but I still need to get it all out. I need to talk, and lots of you are there on the phone or in person, and I am so thankful for you all too, but somehow writing it all down really helps me. And I just wanted to say thanks for always listening...

Not the Best Mother's Day

I gotta tell ya, this isn't going to be my favorite Mother's Day ever. Okay, I don't actually have a favorite mothers day...which makes since seeing as how I don't have any actual children, but still...this will go down as the worst. I am starting my period. Isn't there just something cruel about that? I actually joked that it would suck to start on Mother's Day. Then I woke up this morning to most unquestionable spotting. I actually had light spotting yesterday (day 25 of cycle, 11 days past IUI) but I held out hope for the always illusive implantation bleeding. Unfortunately when I got up this morning it was heavier spotting, and although I can't call it a period just yet, I am pretty sure I will be able to by tomorrow morning.

Along with the spotting I have some hellish back aches and pretty severe cramping and nausea, so I am really about 99% sure this is my actual period. Of course I will still have to take a test of Tuesday because of the Clomid and everything. There will be a glimmer of hope in my heart until then, but that doesn't make this any easier. I really just thought this was it.

Well, I thought I would lighten up the post a bit with at least a couple of pictures for Mother's Day....actually these were what I was going to post before the spotting...but they make me feel a little better, so I will share them with you guys!
Here is a pic of our Irises in our front yard. (and unlike my aunt Mrs. Who, they really ARE your own Irises...and not the neighbors!) I actually am going to take some pic's soon of all of our flowers because they look amazing. I know this pic is a little dark, but I thought it was nice...

And then, of course, a pic of our baby. She is relaxin' maxin' all laid back on a pillow on the couch (with her devil eyes). She did remember to wish her mama a happy Mother's Day before I left for work, so she is a good girl!

So that's it. Here's hoping that next Mother's Day is a much, much better day...

Nine Years Together...Not that I'm Counting

Yesterday was mine and Nick's nine year dating anniversary. I know that now that we are married, that anniversary doesn't really mean much, but seeing as how we dated for seven and a half years, the day still seems a little special to me. We don't do any big celebrations or anything, but we did go out to dinner at Tony Roma's, which is always enjoyable. There is a pretty good chance that we were both really wanting to go out, so when I was like, "Well, it IS out 9 year dating anniversary!" he was like, "Well, then we HAVE to go!"

I wasn't going to mention the anniversary on here, but then I was checking out Fluent Brittish and she actually had a meme up today about husband. You know I am a sucker for meme's, so how could I resist??

Meet My Husband

What is his name? Nicholas Shayne, but really just Nick

How long have you been married? A year and a half

Who said "I love you" first? I did, but he did indeed say it back

Who’s taller? Nick. He is 6'2" and I am 5'9"

Who sings better? Oh good lord, he is much better. Not that he is great, but I am so terrible, really I don't think anybody is as bad of a singer as me

Who is smarter? Nick, although I am a bright cookie as well. He got his degree in Physics with a minor in math...so that is hard to beat.

Who has the worst temper? Oh I do. Nick has no temper at all.

Who does the laundry? We both do it, but I do it more.

Who does the dishes? Both of us again...and Missy does a lot of dishes at our house as well

Who cooks dinner? Almost always me, but he can make so serious pancakes and waffles

Who drives? Nick, and I am a nervous rider, which he HATES. I grab on the the little handle all the time. He is honestly a good driver....I just can't help it.

Who is more stubborn? Nick. He is a silent stubborn, but he likes things how he likes them.

Who is the first to admit they were wrong? Me. Nick rarely thinks he is wrong...and honestly his isn't that often.

Who has more friends? I guess I have more...but we have been together so long we really share friends at this point

Who has more siblings? Well, I have two, and he as two so that would be a tie...BUT he does have four step sisters and two step brothers, so I guess he has me beat again...

Who wears the pants in the family? Nick I guess...but if I really want something to happen, it always does. We might each have a leg in the pants...

Dreams and Nightmares

I am going to just jump right over the part where I tell you all that "I hate when people talk about their dreams but...". I mean, I believe this is my third post on the subject, so clearly I may hate when other people tell me about their dreams, but I still want to be free to tell all of you about mine. If this seems like a double standard, well...okay, it totally is. From now on I will not bitch and moan when people dive into long dream stories. I will accept that sometimes people need to tell someone...and my someone is all of you...

The last three nights I have had some seriously messed up dreams. (before I go any farther, I do know that odd dreams and extreme tiredness are signs of pregnancy, but I am not really thinking they start at week three...) Three nights ago Nick woke me up and I was clearly in a panic. He said I was screaming "THEY'RE COMING IN THE ROOM!! THEY'RE COMING IN THE ROOM!!" It took him a minute to calm me down, because I was completely confused. I don't really have any memories of the actual dream, but I do of the terror that followed. This was not one of my weird waking dreams (thank God) but it was still very frightening.

Two nights ago Nick again woke me up. This time he said I was saying "Yes....Okay....Right....Right....Okay...Yes..." In a hurried, worried voice. This one I remember a little more. I was having a weird dream that we were being invaded and I was fighting. I guess I was taking some sort of orders. When I woke up I was filled with this wild anxiety. Very odd.

Then, last night I had this dream...okay this one wasn't so much a nightmare. It was just kinda odd. I was dreaming that I was at some house, and this lady was playing the pink and purple bagpipes. Apparently I looked like shit because my little sister kept saying "You need to go take a shower NOW!!". I said I was way to tired, and I kept drifting in and out of asleep during the bagpipe show. When I fell asleep, I slipped into a totally different dream. Then Missy would wake me up in dream number one....it was all sorts of Cheshire Cat's and rabbit holes. Who says they are tired in their dream and goes to sleep only to start another dream??

Okay, that is it. Sorry to just post a random story of dreams, but honestly I rarely remember my dreams, so these last three nights have been really weird. Just wanted to share. Thanks for letting me get it out there...

Baby Shower #2!

Man, I have been posting a lot of pictures lately....I am usually way to lazy for for all that picture loading and instead choose to entertain you all with my sweet sweet words. I guess that it shows how I am really breaking out of my winter hibernation that I have any pictures at all....

Anyway, this post is about my sisters second shower! My parents live in a small town about an hour from where we live. We have lots of family there including all of my grandparents. My sisters husband has family in another small town which is about 45 minutes from my parents, and an hour and a half from us. Because of this, my perfect little mom decided to throw a shower for all the out of town family at their farm. It was wonderful! There were tons of people there (not that you can tell that at all from my pictures...oops) and she had amazing food! All in all it was a perfect baby shower for our little Avery! Here are a couple of pic's.Here is my mom with all three of us. This (amazingly) is the only picture I am in. Shocking, seeing as how I love to be photographed...

And Boo with her mom-in-law and sister-in-law

Missy playing the "What's in this bag" game. She did way better than me...

My cousin Liz, my aunt Mrs. Who, and my perfect godson Wesley (who is hiding that full arm cast that he got when he CUT OFF the tip of his precious little finger. For that story check out Liz's blog...)

My cousin Ariel, my Aunt Donna and her grand baby Emily...can you tell we are a family of bloggers yet?

And finally, the mama-to-be and her mama!

Seven Days Down, Seven Days to go...

That is of course, assuming that I make it that far. I keep thinking how fast my last cycle seemed, and then I remember that I started spotting on day 23. I will find it a real triumph just to make it past that day, which is fast approaching. I am now at day 21. Seven days after IUI. Seven days until I could trust the results of a pregnancy test. I am thinking that due to my last cycle being so short, I will have an extremely hard time if I make it to day 28 without starting, but them am not pregnant. I kinda have that "if I make it to test, then it will surely be positive" feeling. I am fighting it, and I know it isn't true. I have had 42 day cycles that didn't result in a pregnancy, but I still feel like day 28 is somehow magical at this point.

There is a world of difference between last months cycle and the cycle I am currently in. The intense anxiety is gone, which I gotta tell you, I am thrilled about. There is no more of the laying in bed just thinking for hours and hours. The constant knot is not in my stomach. I am okay. Now, that is not to say that it is not an obsession. The constant thought in the back of my mind is "please, please, please..." but I guess I have mentally prepared myself for another no. The two week wait is killer to anyone struggling to get pregnant, but I am back to acceptance. I know our odds. I know we are a long shot. This time I am at peace with it....but still incredibly hopeful.

The Kentucky Derby

Around here the Kentucky Derby is HUGE. You start seeing t-shirts and Derby glasses for sale in every store you can imagine six weeks before the race. People talk of who is the favorite, who is the long shot...who is their pick. (Mine was Big Brown...along with the rest of the world...but I did come out on top this year!) The local coverage starts at 8am. People have parties, people bet tons of money...just one of those things when a large event takes place in your state. We live about an hour from the Derby, and honestly I have never even been. We talked a lot about that at Nick's sisters Derby party yesterday, and I hope maybe next year we will go see the big race!

For now the small in town parties are always wonderful and this time was no exception. Candice and Davis had a TON of food including the always delicious Derby Pie. We started the party around two and tossed in small bets on the races leading up to the actual Derby. For the real deal everyone threw in five dollars and drew a horse from the cup. I ended up with Coronal John, which I thought was going to put me in the money for sure....it did not. I also had a ticket for Big Brown that I got at our local track, so I did manage to make a little money on the day. Not a lot mind you...the favorite winning with a $2 bet across the board is never the golden ticket to retirement or anything...

Anyway, the party was wonderful, but if you all watched the race you know this year will always be tainted by the fall of Eight Bells. The party went silent when we saw her down on the track. Then the vet came on and said they put her down. Just right there. They talked about the trainer running over to see her. How the entire family was distraught...I thought of all her hype before the Derby. How they couldn't decide if she should run with the big boys, but she drew such a great spot that they really wanted to give her a chance. She came in second, and no doubt ran the race of her life. I guess as a room full of animal lovers the coverage hit us hard. We were surrounded by our own dogs running around during the race. We know the love that is there with a pet. These horses are so loved, so well cared for, my heart just goes out to her trainers. Tarp and Jim own and train horses and it is an everyday consuming thing. The love is intense. What a terrible end to a wonderful Derby...

Anyway, sad sad sad. I do have pictures of the enjoyable party and what not. I am sure you are all in a picture viewing mood after that, but still...they are cute. Here are a few from race day!

Me and Nick on our way out the door to the party.

Host and Hostess...with the Hosts eyes half closed, but I still thought it was kinda cute...

The boys watching an early race...

The girls posing for pic's in the kitchen

Ryan with his and Arielle's new puppy Ripkin. Arielle was at the actual Derby with her dad...which we were all extremely jealous about!

And while we are looking at sweet puppies...her is ours. Looking a little bigger...which I believe is due to the cat food I caught her eating last night. Gotta find a new place to put it!

Me and Charing...where I have a lot of hair in my eyes...

Boo just hanging out

Candice trying to decide if she needs cake AND pie. Of course she does...

I Won!

Remember how I told you all that I was sometimes kinda lucky? Well, I have been on a little bit of a dry spell as of late with my radio winning, but I am so excited to say that the wait has paid off. I won something. Something great. Okay, something some of you might find a little odd for me to be entering for...but whatever. I won a free diaper bag! Okay, not just any diaper bag, but the super nice environmentally friendly baby bag from Fluerville. This is the one I am getting...

So how did I win you ask? Well, My favorite new blogger over at Chic Shopper Chick is giving it to me! She had the contest back a few weeks ago and I thought, "well, that's a nice bag! I want a baby, so I will need a bag. Might as well enter!" So I did. Along with 220 other people. AND I WON! I then had winners remorse because I had decided on this one pattern, but I wasn't sure I loved it....so I switched it up to the Botanical Azul, and I am just thrilled. Now I just need to be pregnant so I can carry my perfect new bag!

Now, you should all run right over to Chic Shopper Chick's site. She is doing a new baby give away today and everything is really cute in it. Plus she always has great stuff on her blog. She can always help you spend your money!

**Post edited so that the links now actually work!***

Girl's Trip

So we have this girls long weekend planned for early June with Nick's side of the family. I have been a true part of the family for ages, so of course I am going along with his mom, sister, aunt and cousin. I have been really excited about it since I found out we were doing it. I was thinking we were going to South Carolina, which makes since seeing as how that is where his aunt and cousin live. In my head this was a beach trip. We would go pick them up, and drive the rest of the way to Charleston or Hilton Head or something. Nick is not a big beach fan anyway, plus we are going to Florida with my family later in the summer, so I knew this was not a big deal at all. Just good family fun!

Well, I got an email from my mother in law today about our trip. It is going to be awesome. I am seriously so excited about it....but I am really thinking Nick is going to be jealous of this little vacation now. First off, we are not going to the beach, we are going to the mountains. We are meeting in the middle of Kentucky and South Carolina...Tennessee. This mean less driving, which is always a plus. We are staying in a cabin, which is always nice, and we have tons of exciting stuff planned like hiking to Rainbow Falls and white water rafting. Of course there will be tons of eating and shopping and what not. We are not staying in Pigeon Forge, but the drive is not terrible, so we figured we would go there one day and do some outlet shopping. That might be my favorite part of the plan...

So here are my only concerns with this trip. First off, say I am pregnant, which, you know...would be awesome. White water rafting doesn't really sound like a great idea. I mean, I have ALWAYS wanted to try it, but I just don't see it as a "things to do while pregnant" activity. I guess I can go watch the other girls...or just stay at the cabin...or take an extra day of shopping...yes, i think shopping will win. Next problem. The hiking. Okay, I like nature. I really do. The thing is, nature does not always like me. I am clumsy and uncoordinated. I have asthma...and lets face it, I am kinda a baby. Sally (MIL) said it was listed as a half day hike that is moderately hard. And that we should start training now. START TRAINING NOW! Did you all know that my aunts went hiking one time and one of them had to be air lifted out. I am not kidding. My sister went to the grand canyon (which okay, it is the grand canyon, it is HUGE) but she nearly couldn't get out and broke down in tears because "Oh god the pain...I will NEVER make it!". We are more of a family of watchers...of relaxers really. I don't want to be a baby about it. I mean, I am sure I can make it...I am sure I can hike. It sounds so nice. It sounds like something I should do. I can feel it. I am going to love it. It might even become a new hobby of mine. I can do this!

The rest of the trip I am totally down with. The laying out by the lake, the swimming, the shopping, the eating. All sounds perfect. Except for that little voice in my head that says "Man, this sounds like a trip Nick would LOVE. Yes sir. His kinda thing." But I shouldn't feel bad, right? I mean, I didn't plan to do a perfect Nick trip without him. And I will be with his family. That's good. And I can buy him things. Lots and lots of great things. And also some things for myself...lets hope I am in need of maternity clothes come June!