6 Weeks

And just like that I am six weeks pregnant. Amazing, right? It is to me. That is like, half way done with the first trimester. Now I know what you all are saying, I didn't actually know I was pregnant until I was four weeks, so it isn't really like I was pregnant the entire time, but I disagree. The IVF made me hyper-aware of EVERY SINGLE DAY of the last six weeks, and so I am claiming them all as time vested. Four weeks of obsessing over if I would be pregnant, and then two weeks trying to convince myself that this is all real.

I have been thinking (obsessively) about the possibility of symptoms. I am pretty sure I don't really have any. I mean, I am TIRED. But I have been tired before I was "pregnant" so I can't really say for sure that it is only pregnancy induced. It could be the fall coming on. I always like naps in the fall. Then I thought about telling you all about how yesterday my stomach was...off. Like queasy. Uncomfortable. Kinda like I was going to be sick. Now, I WASN'T sick. No, it all passed. Mainly it passed when I went home and ate half a jar of bread and butter pickles. It is the second jar I have finished...this week, but THAT isn't weird. I mean, I have always really loved me some bread and butter pickles. Sure, I don't usually sit around and eat them, especially not to settle my stomach, but it sounded like it would work, and it did! (then a little while later my stomach was REALLY queasy, but I mean, COME ON, I ate half a jar of pickles, what did I expect?? I cannot even begin to call THAT a pregnancy symptom). So, that's it. No symptoms at all. Just six weeks pregnant and PERFECTLY NORMAL.

Funny how as I struggled with infertility I searched for ANY sign I might possibly be pregnant, and now that I am I am so quick to shoot down all signs. Explain them away. I think it is fear. Fear of losing all of this, because i have never been so happy about something before in my entire life. Hello week six. I am so happy to meet you!