Pretend

So I just remembered that I have another story from Speech Therapy this week. (Aren't you all glad we have Henry in speech so I have all this new blogging material? I thought so.) So besides the entire I-Have-A-Booger-And-Don't-Know-It debacle, there was this other amusing (slightly horrifying) thing that happened.

The therapist brings her own toys, but sometimes Henry pulls his own into their games. He had decided to go scout out what cool thing he had to show her and came back with a fake plastic syrup bottle and a small round stacking cup. He gets really excited and takes the syrup bottle and pretends to pour it in the cup. He offers the cup to the therapist, and she happily pretends to drink it. At this point, I am pretty proud. I mean, he is showing her how he is able to pretend AND he is showing his good manners. MOTHER OF THE YEAR!

Then things took a turn for the worse. He takes the syrup bottle, and he turns it up to his mouth. Not just like he is drinking out of it, but like he is guzzling. Like... he is chugging it. And he starts stomping his foot while he does it...sorta like he is counting how long he can chug the delicious pretend liquid. And I am watching, in my head thinking "Huh... he sorta reminds me of some college kid chugging a beer. Hope the therapist doesn't think that too!" But then...oh lord, He drops the syrup bottle, uses his hand to pretend wipe his mouth, then puts his hands out and starts running around all CRAZY like he's dizzy. Or... you know... drunk. All the while making this sound of "woaahhhooooaaahhhoooaaahhh!". He has no control over where his body is going. He's all over the map, head rolling around, arms flailing about as he stumbles around the living room. And then falls to the floor, laughing hysterically.

You all. He looked like a perfect imitation of a drunk person. The kind that turns up a bottle of Captain Morgans to put on a good show at a party, then stumbles around for a few seconds before taking out the coffee table. I just... looked at him. And looked at the therapist. She gave this awkward little laugh, and I did too. Then, I was said "Hahahaha... Henry...hahaha... What are you doing? Where did you learn that?" Sorta just teasing. You know. Because clearly he is playing and it just HAPPENS to look like he knows what a crazy partying drunk person looks like. But you all... the way it came out... It sounded REALLY GUILTY. Like, "Oh baby, don't tell the nice lady about Mama's happy juice she drinks when nobody's looking!".

And the thing is, Nick and I aren't drinkers. I mean, we drink but really not much. Mainly because we are sorta cheap like that and a glass of Sweet Tea is WAY more reasonably priced. We (I) do open a bottle of wine from time to time, and we drink when we are out with friends, but...but... NEVER has my child seen one of us turn up a bottle of liquor then stumble around drunk until we pass out. But there was nothing to say. I just laughed again and left it at that. I have a feeling I will now be the mom with the booger who drinks a lot in front of her kid. At least she will remember us...

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