Long Weekend

I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that the wedding I went to on Friday was actually part of this past weekend. It feels like...I don't know, I would estimate a million years have passed between then and now. Maybe that's because since the wedding we went shopping then grilled out with my sister and brother in law on Saturday, then on Sunday got in the car and headed to Nashville for an overnight trip to spend time with my sisters. Right. A million years worth of time crammed into three days.

You know what else I did in this million year weekend? I met my very first Internet friend in real life! How amazing is that? A few years ago I could have never imagined that I would have good enough friends online to be meeting them for drinks and desert in Nashville. But here we are...

Me and Suzy out for drinks! She is one of my sweet Braces Bunch girls and she is the best!

Her husband Ike came with her, and Boo came with me. My dad and I laughed that we were both bringing people so we wouldn't be kidnapped or killed. I did point out that it would be an extremely LONG CON* to fake infertility and blog about a fake family for five years just to finally get to the point where I could kidnap Suzy at a restaurant in Nashville! In reality, we just wanted our extra people there to enjoy the excitement of finally meeting in real life. We had such a great time and I can't wait to meet up with her again.

Last night we got home after ten and I promptly passed out. Henry had been long asleep after having a fun filled day with Nick. He went to bed four hours before his normal bed time, so we weren't exactly surprised when he decided to wake up all bright eyed and bushy tailed at...2:30am. And he stayed away until five. So...not the best start to this week. I am dead on my feet. But I just remembered tomorrow is already Wednesday, and my day off! Yay!!

Okay, this post is really rambling. I shouldn't blog when I am this tired. But I wanted to tell you I met sweet Suzy, and that I am hope safe and sound. And maybe I wanted to complain a little about my lack of sleep. Hope you all had a great Memorial Day Weekend too!

*I miss Lost.

Wedding

Oh you all, you know how I love weddings, right? I have blogged weddings once or twice. Like here, and here, and here, and here...maybe here and here too. There might be more, I am just too tired to keep looking. But you get the idea. I love weddings. So of course I MUST share with you some pictures from my good high school friend Emily's wedding last night! We had so much fun.

Here is the beautiful bride with her dad

trading of rings.

Here's me and Nick, all dolled up. when Nick walked out in his suit Henry looked at him and said "WOOOOOOOOOW!" It was so stinkin adorable.

Boo and Chris were there too!

Here is on of my best friends Whitney and I. Now, you may be wondering why she has her hand on my belt buckle like that. It is a mystery to everyone, including her. But we got a really good laugh out of it all night. And again today. Because who holds someones dress belt buckle in a picture?? Whitney. That's who.

Here is me and Emily! Isn't she adorable?

Mr and Mrs

Here is Emily's little sister, who is one of Missy's very best friends. Her and her oldest sister gave the sweetest speech ever in the history of weddings. It made me cry. I am a sucker for three sisters...

Then of course there was the bouquet to be tossed

dances to be danced

and of course, photo booths to pose in front of with random props. That's right. We really enjoyed that part.

REALLY enjoyed it!

PS. That's Nick with the basket on his head.
PPS. We may have been drinking. A little.

Weekend Review

Did you all know it's Friday? So, like, it's been an entire week since LAST weekend? That seems obvious, but I seem to have let time fly by and haven't yet posted all the pictures from our weekend. Which is a shame, because it was a good one! And this one we have coming up is good too...we have a wedding tonight, a cook out and pool party, a night out of town where I might meet up with Sweet Suzy if I can get my act together and officially make plans. There are lots and lots of things that will be happening! And lots of pictures that will be taken! SO....I need to close the book on last weekend before this one gets rolling.

So, here you go. Let's start with Movie Night. Nick's brother lives about an hour and a half from us. Him and his girlfriend invited us up to hang out, make smores (with Nutella...and you all...they were the best smores EVER) and watch an outdoor movie with their projector in the back yard. Awesome, right? Right! It was made even more awesome by the fact that the movie they got was 'The Never Ending Story'. Here are a couple of pictures.

sitting around the camp fire, enjoying Bastian's story. Notice how Nicole is in a dress (she is adorable). Although I am not picture, I was in a tank top and shorts. And my sister in law...this is how she looked....

Poor girl. Clearly she is cold blooded!

Anyway, Movie Night was so awesome and I can't wait to do it again! We actually didn't bring Henry because of the drive and that it doesn't get dark until 9:30 or so. Next time I think we will bring him a sleeping bag and let him join in the fun.

Henry did get to hang out with Uncle Chris, Nicole and Nieem the next day, so it all worked out!

Next up for the weekend review, we had my good friend Rhiannon's bridal shower!

Here are me and Boo with the Bride to Be

Rhi and Arielle. The shower was at Arielle's house, and it was wonderful!

Hanging out with the Kelseys

Candice and Cici in their matching pink

Rhi ended up getting very useful things. Like this lovely rolling pin. (I have no idea why I took this picture, but it shows that gifts were given, so it works!)

At the end of the shower sweet Cici passed out on top of me. I am in love with this picture!

So that's it. Fun stuff has now been documented. I also wanted to take a second to say thank you to Mel over at Stirrup Queens who included one of my posts from this week in the Friday Blog Round up! I means so much to me. So, if you have a second, jump over and see the other amazing blogs she has listed this week.

Medium Brown vs Witch Black

So you know how sometimes you have something you want to look nice for, but you have no money to invest in said niceness? Well, that's me right now. I have some stuff coming up that requires adorableness, but the money isn't in our bank account to go get the needed things done. Things like my eyebrows, hair and nails. So, being the constant optimist, I decided there was no need to worry, I could do these tasks myself!

I went to the store to pick up some hair dye to cover the grey taking over my head. Even though I am 31, I still like to consider myself a person who has early grey. "What? This? These millions of grey hairs? Oh...I am an early greyer...IT IS NOT BECAUSE I AM OLD." Anyway, due to my early greying ways I needed to just do an all over color. They didn't have the color I usually use, so I went with the same brand, but one called "Medium Brown". The girl on the box had some nice hair. I figured it would be fine. (Constant Optimist!)

I get home, put Henry down for his nap, and get to work. I put on the hair color and set the timer for 10 minutes. I then break out the wax to do my brows. And maybe my lip. Not that I would admit to waxing my lip, because that sounds like something older people have to do...and I am an EARLY GREYER. So...I waxed ONLY my eyebrows, then checked the time. Only six minutes had passed. Not too shabby! But then I look in the mirror. And my hair looks dark. Really dark. And I decide six minutes is plenty. I wash it out and here is what I see...

Someone needs to tell Clairol to change the name of this color from "Medium Brown" to "Witch Black"! Come on people. This is after SIX MINUTES. And it actually looks darker in real life. AND my early grey is still showing through because I didn't leave it on the full time. FAIL. Just FAIL all around.

In other news, my nails look very lovely, and I like how I DO like that I sorta look skinny in this picture. Maybe people will be too distracted by my nails and eye brows to notice my witch black hair.

PS. I do own other tshirts. I promise. Somehow I just always seem to be wearing this one when I take pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror. Odd. But since this time I am comparing myself to a witch, it works out rather well.

Beginning of the End

Thank you all so much for your outpouring of support on my post about finding peace with the size of our family. As I wrote it, I worried you all would read it and feel like I was giving up on this FET before it even started. That you would think I was losing faith in the possibility of having another child. I should have known better. Your comments have been so uplifting for me this past week. The understanding, the support, and the constant cheering on of this cycle just means so much. So thank you all.

Tomorrow truly starts the beginning of the end of our infertility journey. It will be the hypothetical day one of this last cycle and the start of the hormone patches. We are a little over two weeks from transfer, and I cannot believe how different I feel right now from this time last cycle. The peace that I feel knowing that we have done everything we can is comforting. But still, oh my, how the hope is here with me. Every time I see a baby out in public, especially one that has a big brother in tow, how my heart is filled with this hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, we can bring home another baby. Names are creeping into my mind again, the question of boy or girl, the idea of both embryos surviving and possibly leading to twins. Just thoughts. Hopes. Dreams. All swirling around in my head and my heart as I prepare to put on my first patch in the morning.

So here we go. Our final cycle. Our Last Chance FET. Will it lead us to a baby? The green flag is waving. Four weeks from tomorrow we will pass the finish line with be our beta. Will we be settling in for nine months of planning and excitement or will we be packing up our baby gear alone with the pieces of our hearts. I hope this peace I have found stays with me. But what I really hope is that I don't need that peace to calm my breaking heart a month from now. I hope that we just get to be happy.

Gone Fishin'

Henry comes from a long line of fishermen. And by long line, I mean Nick, my dad and Henry's Grandpa. Sorta a long line, right? Anyway, the moment Henry was born his grandpa and papaw started telling him about fishing. Well, this weekend it was finally time to take the boy out to try his hand with a rod and reel. Grandpa, Nick, me and Henry packed up and headed to a little pond that promised to have lots of good fish. Someone was very excited.

Check out our little fisherman!

Waiting on the fish to bite

Working on his technique

First Fish!! "ISH!! ISH!!"

We actually caught a lot of fish. A LOT. It was that best kind of fishing trip where every time you throw out your line in the water you bring in another fish. We were there for about an hour and I would say between the four of us we caught around twenty fish.

Even Mama got in on the action

Grandpa and Henry with another ish

Papa with one of the bigger ones of the day

I think we have created another lifelong fisherman. He loved every second of it.

**Welcome ICLW readers! Thanks so much for coming by. If you are curious about our TTC history, you can read all about it here!

Peace

Something has been happening to me recently. Something deep down in my soul. And in all honesty I can credit it to nothing but answered prayers. For the last two years I have prayed for peace. To find peace with the size of our family and peace with the six frozen embryos we have left over from our IVF that gave us Henry. I was afraid we would transfer two embryo's, get pregnant with twins, and then have to make that hard decision that all infertile couples dread about left over embryos. I knew we wouldn't go back if we had three children. I worried about having that complete feeling in our family after just two children, but then having extra embryos. These fears seemed to take front stage in my mind with I thought about the first FET transfer. In all honestly, I think that was why I was blind sided by the negative results. I knew the were possible, but I had spent over a year obsessing about what to do with any embryos left over. Were we really at a point where there wouldn't be any? A point where all six were given their chance to our children?

As we move into the Last Chance FET, I find that my heart is at peace. I have hope that these last two embryos will give us the second child we so want, but now I also have a peace in my heart that if it doesn't, that everything will be okay. We are a pretty awesome family of three. We are happy as we are. And I know, I KNOW, that if we have a second child they will fit right into our little world and be our missing piece, finally complete. But if there is no other piece, if this is it, a puzzle of three, I now know that I am okay with that too. It is a peace I haven't know in years, and I realize now that part of that was the embryos. I needed them to have a chance of being a part of this wonderful puzzle. I needed to let go and to not think it was up to me to make all the decisions.

What is suppose to happen will happen. I know that a negative with this last FET will be heart breaking, more heart breaking than I can wrap my mind around right now because it will be the first time I will face an end to our infertility journey, but I also know that on the other end of that possible heart ache is a life that I love. A son that is the light of my life. And I hope to have another child, of course I do. But it is so nice to finally feel like not everything rides on that result. That our entire happiness does not ride on a positive beta. We already won. Our Henry completes us, and if we are lucky enough to have another, then we will be doubly blessed.

The Key to A Good Night Sleep

Everyone has a specific formula for a perfect night sleep. Maybe it's reading before bed, or cookies and milk. Could be wine or sleeping with the TV on. The right temperature or the perfect number of blankets. we all have something that helps us sleep better. Since Henry was born we have been looking for that thing for Henry. The hard truth was that for nearly two years we were at a loss. The only thing the child wanted was us. Just me or Nick, sitting there in the dark with him for an hour, while he drifted off to sleep. But now I am so excited to announce that we have CRACKED THE CODE!

Slowly, we have FINALLY discovered the perfect combination of things that will allow him to get in his bed at night, and to go to sleep without us in the room. We turn on the fan and the night light, read a couple of books, give him the perfect combination of items and sneak out. And he STAYS. ALL NIGHT. With NO TEARS. It's like magic I tell you. So, what is this perfect combination of items that keep my child happy and alone in his room? Well, I have created a little key card for you. Just in case some other parents think they might want to try this magical combination. So, without further ado, I give to you Henry's Key to a good night sleep:


1. ABC Book-the actual book title can change from night to night. Occasionally there may be a need for two books

2. Woody doll. Yes his face is made of hard plastic, but my child enjoys sleeping on top of him anyway.

3.Coolest Harry Potter Hedwig Owl puppet of all time. I am jealous of this toy.

4. between 3-5 matchbox cars.

5. An alphabet puzzle.

6. proof that the combination works...child just awakening from extremely restful nap.

7. Sometimes he has to prop his leg up on the side of the bed...to make room for all his night time treasures...

The Official List

I am so excited to tell you all that the official Circle of Mom's List for Top 25 Inspiring Families has been released! I know I have talked about this list a little (okay...a lot) over the last six weeks, but I just wanted to say again how much it means to me that you all took the time to vote for our family. There are some seriously inspirational families out there, so the fact that we were even nominated blew me away. To come in 4th, it just touches my heart. So thank you so much.

So what are you waiting for? Click on over and see all the blogs on the list! Included with each family is a short interview, so click over and see what I had to say and check out the winners of the top three Bio Girl posts of all time! While you are there, take a look at all of the amazing bloggers and their families on the list.

PS. You can find yours truly on the top of the second page on the list.

Were You Scared??

Saturday night we were all exhausted. Like, deep down to our bones, beat. Henry literally fell asleep in his high chair at dinner. I looked over at one moment and he was eating corn, and a moment later his head almost hit the tray. We scooped him up and dropped him in bed, thinking he would wake up all too early the next morning since he was passing out two hours before bedtime. Amazingly, he managed to sleep until ten on Sunday morning! (sweet relief). Nick and I both took every moment to also catch up on sleep because somehow this two year old's party was the most exhausting thing I have done in a LONG time. When I finally heard him get up, I went to open his door, leaving Nick sleeping for a few more precious minutes.

Henry gave me a quick morning kiss, then came running out of his room to make sure all of his new toys weren't just a dream, and were actually his for keeps. The first thing he grabbed was this Rex flashlight:When you hold down his tail his mouth opens and the light shines out. He also says several different sayings, because obviously flashlights are made infinitely more cool when they talk. Anyway, Henry grabs his Rex flashlight and runs to find his Papa. he comes up to Nick, who is sleeping mind you, and gets right by his face with the flashlight. He squeezes the tail and Rex yells "ROOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!! Were You Scared?!?!" Nick's eyes pop open just to be blinded with the bright light coming from Rex's mouth. Henry says "Papa!!" And Nick smiles and rolls out of bed. We should have known there was no more sleeping allowed now that Henry was awake and there were TOYS to be played with.

But you all, I have laughed so many times thinking of being woken up like that. Laying there relaxing in the silence of a Sunday morning, then to hear "ROOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!! Were You Scared?!?!" followed by a blinding light. I think we can let Rex know that yes, he was scared. Job well done.

A Rootin' Tootin' Birthday Bash

Well, I did the no-rain dance non-stop this week, and I did pretty good keeping the storms away. Day after day the weather channel predicted rain, and day after day it missed us. That is, right up until the day of the Rootin' Tootin' Toy Story Birthday Bash. It was raining this morning when we got up, and it didn't stop until about an hour after the party ended. Poor Nick, he had worked for days on the back yard, getting it in perfect shape for the out door party. Alas, we all poured into our tiny house and had an absolute blast! Never let someone tell you that you can't have 30 people in a tiny home. I am here to tell you, it can be done! So, lets get to some party pics, shall we?

Here is the birthday boy in all his glory. He had so much fun at the party! I thought he might be overwhelmed, but he did awesome!

Here is a picture of the cake and the party favor bags for the kids. Boo and I made everything, and I must admit I am pretty proud! I guess that is the only picture I took of any decorations or food. We had great food and adorable decorations. You are just going to have to trust me.

Oh wait, here's a sorta blurry one of the water bottles my mom made. They say "Happy Birthday" and "Henry's Rootin' Tootin' 2nd Birthday Party" with a picture of Buzz and Woody. They came out so cute!

Anyway, on to the people pictures! Here is our little family. Apparently I broke Whitney's cardinal rule and stood closer to the camera than Nick and Henry. Therefor allowing my head to appear three times the size of theirs. Always sexy.

I was really worried about what the kids would do stuck in the house for the entire party, but they managed to have a great time playing together! Here's Wes, Evie and Cici playing with some pieces of Henryville.

Here is the birthday boy with his Nanny and Papaw. I am in love with this picture.

You know how sometimes you take a million pictures and they are all junk because your child WILL NOT look at you and smile, and the ONE time he does, is the only time all day the flash doesn't go off on the camera? And then you get all photoshop happy trying to fix it because it has such POTENTIAL. And you think you have done a good job with photoshop and are really proud, but then you compare it to the coloring of all the other pictures and realize you sorta suck at it? Yeah. That.

Here is a better one of Henry with his Nana and his Aunt Candice where the flash actually did it's job.

The guys. (Henry wants me to leave him alone and let him enjoy his birthday cake in peace)

Here we are opening some presents. I am mainly just including this picture because I think it's hilarious that Henry's face is so big on the TV screen in the background.

But seriously, he got lots of awesome stuff. He is a very lucky and loved little boy.

Here's a shot of some of my girls who were able to come to love on our boy for his birthday

A good one with Ryan and Arielle

This one just makes me laugh because Cici looks SO SERIOUS. And why are Nick and Henry out of focus? they are sitting right beside Andy and Cici...it's a photographic mystery.

And here's a picture of Henry and Carter rocking the Michael Jackson Experience. Henry becomes Carter's shadow when they play this game. He loves it!

And we will end with a video of everyone singing Happy Birthday to our sweet two year old and watching him think about blowing out the candles.

( I choose to believe that my voice doesn't really sound like that. That somehow video distorts only my voice, leaving everyone else sounding perfectly normal)

It was truly a perfect party. I worried so much about the rain, but really all that mattered was that so many people were there that love our boy and helped us celebrate another year with him. Thanks everyone!

Two

Happy Birthday my sweet, sweet boy. We love you so.

Song: "Where we Gonna Go From Here" by Mat Kearney

If you are really in a sentimental mood (like I am today) you can watch his first birthday video here.

**Sorry this wasn't available this morning. Blogger has been down for the last day. I know that my letter to Henry has disappeared. I am hoping they are able to restore it along with the comments, but if not I will repost it later this evening. Thank goodness Google Reader still had a copy of it!**

A Letter-Year Two

*I am posting this letter a day before Henry's actual birthday because tomorrow I will be posting his birthday montage video. Come back by to watch it. It is awesome (so says his mother.)*

Dear Henry,

I cannot believe it is already time to write your two year letter! Where has the time gone? Where has my baby gone? You are getting so big, so grown up. I look at you and am amazed that you are the same tiny baby that came into this world two years ago. You are now so full of life and energy. You are a big ball of giggles and hugs. You make every single day better just by being you.

This past year you have grown into such a little boy. You love to play with your matchbox cars and crash them into your other toys. You love to build things, and then to destroy them. Trains and balls are a big favorite, and so is Toy Story and Finding Nemo. But your favorite thing is to be outside. You love the park, with their swings and slides. You are completely fearless, commonly trying to get to a slide before Mama can slow you down to make you be safe. You want to explore, to understand, to be in the know. You love to pick the flowers you find outside, and then bring them to me. I love that. My sweet boy bringing me flowers.

Your very favorite thing right now is music. You love to listen to it, to dance to it and to try to play it. You will look at us and say "muuuuUUU?" With this little inflection that is so sweet. You love to sit and listen to music with your Great Nana. It is your favorite thing to do together. You love to get our phones and turn on the music and just sit and listen. It gives you such joy, and it is a love we hope to nurture as you get older.

This past year there have been big things that have happened in your family. Your cousin Darcy was born in July. Oh Henry, how you two love each other. When you are in the car together we commonly look back to see you two holding hands. You laugh and play all the time. You are so good with her, getting down on her level and crawling with her. You commonly want to race her while crawling, and she loves it. You will always slow down so she can catch up with you. It fills my heart so see how good you are with her. We also found out this year that your Aunt Missy is sick. During this year of fighting that sickness you have been a constant comfort to her and the rest of the family. I don't know what we would have done without your smiles and giggles to lift our hearts during this year.

You love all of your family so much. Your grandma's are two of your favorite people in the world. I know some children your age have a hard time leaving their parents, but you are always so thrilled when your Nana or Nanny show up to get you. You will grab your stuff and happily yell "Bye!!!" To us. Before I was ever pregnant with you I knew your grandparents would be instantly in love with you. I can never describe how it fills my heart to see you already able to show that love in return. You love your grandfathers, aunts and uncles too. Sitting with them, playing with them, always laughing and giving hugs. You have a family that loves you so much, and it is already clear how much you love them all back.

My sweet Henry, your Papa and I love you so. You have brought more joy to our lives than we would have thought possible. You have such a sweet nature. You fill my heart every single day, just by being you. Thank you for being such an amazing son. It has been a wonderful two years, and I can't wait to see who you become in the future.

xoxo
Mama