You all, I have an issue going on. One I am not even remotely happy about. You see, I seem to have a belly. One that if the FET had worked, and I was actually 8 weeks pregnant right now (to me), I would be pointing and saying "see how fast you start showing with a second pregnancy?? Isn't it CRAZY?" The key issue with this reasoning now is that I am in fact, NOT pregnant. So why is this happening to me?
I mean, I KNOW why it's happening. I am eating whatever I want. And... you know... not really moving around that much. But still..STILL. Must my weight decide to hang right around the middle, belly region? Maybe it's best. Maybe the fact that I look like I did when I was 3 months pregnant with Henry will be motivation enough for me to do something about it. I did turn down cookies and milk last night. So I guess that's a start. I am going to start working out with the Wii again too. I can easily do it with Henry, and it really is a decent work out. Better than what I am doing now, FOR SURE.
I need to move more. I need to eat less. It's a lot of the same old stuff, but now I really need to do it. There are no more excuses. No upcoming pregnancy that always led to the excuse "no need to bother. I will lose it after the baby". No need to worry about taking in the diet drinks or adding stress with the newest fertility treatment right around the bend. That's all over, so I just need to do it. I am not okay with looking pregnant when I am not. Even if I only look pregnant to myself fbecause I dont think I would look pregnant to a stranger, but I know what I looked like 3 months pregnant. I looked just like this.) It's just one more painful reminder of what I don't have. So since I don't have a second pregnancy, I can at least find a way to a body I am happier about. Starting now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I also am sporting a belly that I'm not ok with so this weekend I decided I'm going to take up... bike riding.
ReplyDelete(Quit laughing.)
No, seriously, Mike and I got bikes and we're doing nightly rides with Evie. Not a HUGE workout but better than just sitting around watching TV. If you and Henry would like to come join us, we'd love it. :)
Funny I was just thinking how slim you look in those wedding photos.
ReplyDeletePaint a big red dot on the floor cause I am there. That is exactly why I've started hitting the gym. If I let my gut out I can look 6 mos pg. For real. And I am not a big girl.
ReplyDeleteBut you know what else I get? I completely understand the pain of having that gut and not being pregnant. It is so painful. It hurts to know that it isn't big cause there is a baby in there, and might never be a baby in there again. Yep, I'm there with you.
Hi. I'm here from ICLW and I am also something of a Biogirl (well, currently I'm a sahm but I worked as a biological researcher for many years). Our little boys are also the same age. Congratulations on your cutie and I'm sorry about the failed FET.
ReplyDeleteAs for the belly, I'm afraid we have that in common as well. I realized last night when I was lying on my side that my belly had shifted with the pull of gravity. It didn't used to, um, do that. I don't have many good excuses for it either but I really don't like it.