Bad Santa

I was on Facebook the other day and a girl I went to high school with was complaining about the Santa at our local bookstore. She was asking where to find a GOOD Santa, and I was shocked. SHOCKED! How could she not be happy with that Santa? He is the BEST Santa EVER! I mean, LOOK at the pictures they took there form last year.

Really.

Go look. I will wait.

I am going to admit it.  I judged the girl.  What more could you WANT?? I thought.

We went to see our beloved bookstore Santa last night.  And turns out, it's a new Santa.  And a new photographer.  And you guys, I am still angry about the entire experience.  STILL.  CAP LOCK, TALK ABOUT IT ON MY BLOG, ANNOYED.

We had been hyping up this Santa visit.  Henry was ready.  He was going to tell Santa he wanted a batman toy, he was going to say he was a good boy, he practiced his reindeer antlers for a picture, he wanted to ask Santa if he knew Aech the Elf. HE WAS EXCITED.

I should have known it wasn't going to go well as soon as we got there.  Santa had two kids on his lap (not really his lap, the arm of the chair. He didn't allow kids on his lap) and was chatting with the parents about dog breeds.   As we waited Henry started to go from excited to nervous. When it was our turn I put Henry up on the arm of the chair and I said "Hi Santa!  Henry is so excited to talk with you!  Do you know his Elf Aech?"  thinking that as a Santa, he is in the loop with this elf on the shelf deal.

So Santa says "Oh an elf like the elf on the shelf?" (looking only at me, not at Henry)  "Have you ever noticed how much those elves look like "Snap, Crackle and Pop from Rice Crispy cereal??  I bet they are made by the same people. It makes since, really!  Like getting your brand image out there.  It's good marketing"

Um, excuse me Santa.  But are you talking to me about brand image and cereal marketing while my son is waiting to tell you what he wants for Christmas??  GET INTO CHARACTER.

Right after that this picture was taken:

Henry is not impressed. (heh)

Then we worked on getting a good smile out of Henry, which we GOT! It was perfect! Amazing!  IDEAL!!  Except the photographer was chatting with the a friend at the check out counter and didn't capture it.  Well done, photographer.  Way to pay attention. We got this one a minute later. It's okay I guess.

Kind of.  But I like the 'not impressed' one better.  It captures the day.

Next we added in Cici.  Don't they look excited:

Nothing but holiday cheer up in here.

Seriously, this is the best one of them looking at the camera.  Others are like this:

Henry actually blowing spit bubbles because he is bored. 

Santa NEVER asked what they wanted (I finally told Henry to tell Santa what he wanted, to which Santa said "Batman?").  He NEVER asked if they were good boys and girls.  HE NEVER SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS!  But we can pretend:

I tried to get the antler picture, but nobody (including Santa) was into it at that point.  So it was Cici's turn next.  They tried and tried to get her to smile, then Boo looked over and realized the photographer was texting.  Yes she was.  Boo had to say 'Um, Can you PLEASE take her picture???"

But if you crop out the spit bubble blowing Henry, I think this one is better.

Give me a photo editing tool and I can make these pictures passable.  Kind of.  But I am so annoyed that the trip that was so exciting to Henry before hand turned into something so unfortunate.  And cost us $38.

  High school friend on Facebook, I owe you an apology.  Let me know if  you find a better Santa for next year!