We are holding on. Somehow. There are no words for the gaping absence that is now in our life. And while I know I am grieving, and I am heartbroken, I am also afraid. I am afraid because I can tell the numbness that is still here. I can tell the way my body is protecting me from the magnitude of this loss. I know that our family has locked ourselves up together to mourn and have not had to step out and look at the real world. I know that will hit me fully, eventually. When the planning is done, when the service is complete, an I am left here without my sister.
For now, I am holding on. I am still breathing, and I am trying to do what she would want, which is to take care of our parents, to keep living, and to enjoy our life. I am going to try, but I just don't know how without my Missy.
We have set the arrangements, I have written her obituary, we will celebrate her amazing life. Because it was incredible, and it is worth celebrating.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteAbiding with you during this impossible time.
Sweet Sarah, keep doing what you're doing. You only have to get through one day at a time and when that's too much, shoot for one hour at a time. Hold each other close. Know you are loved.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you and your family non-stop, Sarah. Praying for you all and thinking of you. With love, Erika
ReplyDeleteYou have all been in my thoughts so very much and will continue to be so over the coming days, weeks, months and years. I'm holding you all in my heart xx
ReplyDeleteIt is impossible to comprehend in times like these that the world keeps turning and other people go about their usual business... Take it one step at a time and hold each other close. Abiding with you in this time of mourning.
ReplyDeleteI just want to leave you another hug. Much love, Fran
ReplyDeleteAt some point, when the numbness wears off, and you feel like you can't hold on, we'll be there to hold your hand, and hold on when you can't. My heart hurts for you.
ReplyDeleteTo read Missy's obituary and know that she was one month and one day older than me? I just can't even fathom. She seems to have really LIVED and LOVED in her 30 1/2 short years, and I hope that she will always be in the back of my mind, making me try harder and do better.
Love you.
Alison said it perfectly. We will all be here when that numbness wears off; when all you can do is scream and cry. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteOne hour at a time; one day at a time; it will never be easy, but it will become manageable. We love you and are thinking of you constantly.
ReplyDeleteTake it one second, one minute, one hour at a time... She will always be in your hearts. {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteStill sending so much love, Sarah. xo
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for you and your family's loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for your loss. We lost my sister 3 years ago and I can totally relate to the numbness. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI just can't imagine how this feels. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI just can't imagine how this feels. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I don't really have any words, but just wanted you to know that I'm here, abiding with you.
ReplyDelete