When fighting infertility, our battle was constantly at the forefront of my mind. I talked about it, blogged about it, read about it, prayed about it; I was living and breathing infertility. So the idea of writing a post about joining the movement would have been more for other people, informing them about the importance of infertility awareness. It wouldn't have been for me, I was LIVING the movement. I felt sure I would always be living the movement, because it was a huge piece of who I was.
That did not go away after Henry was born. I still felt the pain and heartache of infertility constantly over the first couple of years of his life. When we discussed more children, when we returned to the fertility clinic, FET's, money, heartbreak; We were still there, living in the Movement. Even after the FET's, when I was off birth control and we were still thinking 'maybe', when I was miserable with my endometriosis and having two surgeries in three weeks, when I was having the IUD placed; I was still living the movement. And it felt, even then, as if we always would be.
But now, a year later, with my pain under control and my hope for more children put to rest, I feel separated from the infertility that defined me for so long. And I see how this community is made up mainly of those who are currently struggling, and how they feel abandoned by those who have children and move on. Because none of us asked for this, none of us want this fight, and so when you come out the other side and can close that door, it is so tempting to walk away. To turn your back and think the battle was in a previous life. That the battle is for those who are living through it now. That we have done our part, I fought the fight. I lived it, and I advocated for support for so long. Can't I be done?
No. Not really. For those of us that are no longer actively battling our infertility, we are still living with it. We are just now used to the impact it has had on our lives. We have accepted how our families are different than they would have been without this disease. We have accepted the financial burden of treatments, the lack of siblings, or the lack of children at all. We have accepted it, and it's so tempting to keep it in our past.
Infertility is not only a piece of my past, I look at my IVF miracle and am reminded that it is a major piece of my entire life. As I watch him grown and learn and play, I have a daily reminder of how important this fight is. Of why it is worth my time and energy and words, even now that it is not a current battle. Because my own fight brought me him, and every family should have that opportunity. So join the movement and support infertility awareness. Speak out in support of treatments and financial support. Do what you can to give a face and a voice to this community so in need of resources and assistance. This is not a small group, one in eight fight infertility. They should not have to fight alone.
"For those of us that are no longer actively battling our infertility, we are still living with it." So true. Thanks for pointing out the fact that infertility is a life-long disease. It doesn't go away when we have children, when we stop trying, when we hit menopause, when we're grandparents...it ends when we end and not a moment before. Thank you for speaking out about infertility, for sharing your story and allowing others to join with you on this journey. Also, your son is adorable. (-:
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