Catching my Breath

Four days a week the alarm goes off at 5am.  I hit snooze at least one too many times before forcing myself out of bed.

I attempt to quietly get ready while the rest of the house sleeps, but then I stumble getting onto the scale and the crash booms through the house.  I am horrified. With both the noise and my weight.  I then stumble getting OFF the scale and once again I cringe at the insanely loud boom as the scale drops back down onto the tile floor... what is WRONG with me?  Oh, right.  It's five in the morning.

I put on deodorant, then accidentally drop it.  I don't even care anymore. I am sure Nick wants to kill me... or at least wrap our bathroom in bubble wrap. 

I am at work at 6am.  I stay until 5pm on non-class days.  On class days I shoot out the door at 2:45, flying across campus to be in a desk from 3-5:30.

I sprint to pick up Henry and am home by 6pm.  Then it's cooking dinner and picking up the house, homework and capstone analysis, playing soccer and reading books before bed, watching TV and doing laundry... it's a full life squeezed in the middle of being a full time working mom and a part time grad student.

I feel like I have a million balls in the air.  And I honestly feel like most of the time I am doing pretty well keeping them all up.  But sometimes I get a little scared of how I can continue to keep this going.  I worry of being stretched too thin and not doing anything really well.  I try to keep track of game days, weddings and birthdays, spending time with our families and friends, spending time with just Henry and Nick... trying to be everywhere and do everything and trying to not complain because I am choosing to take these classes and get this degree, choosing to have Henry in soccer, choosing to work four days a week so I have a day with my sweet boy, choosing to read and blog and do things that are just for me.

But today, at the end of a long day, at the end of a long month, I am exhausted.  And I wish there was a way to hit pause, just for a few minutes, so I could catch my breath.

Eight months until I graduate.  I can do this.